MEN IN MOVIES  E-L.

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ELVIRA: MISTRESS OF THE DARK

My favorite goth diva did her gay fans right casting the God-like Daniel Greene as her love interest in this campfest. He’s a big hunky football player type and plays it dumb in this film, which makes him all the more sexy! In the 1990s, before she’d made her second film, Elvira’s Haunted Hills (which features a shirtless hunk who doesn’t speak English!), I went to a book signing in New York City. When it was my turn to have her sign my book, the conversation went just like this:

ME: Elvira, when are you going to make a sequel to Mistress of the Dark?

CASSANDRA PETERSON (her real name): I’m workin’ on it, honey.

ME: Well, you must cast that stud from the first movie again.

CASSANDRA: Ooh la la! He was HOT! (dramatic pause followed by a conspiratorial whisper) I heard he’s working at a Home Depot in Ohio!

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EVIL BREED: THE LEGEND OF SAMHAIN

This inbred killer family flick has an appearance by Richard Grieco. Although I hate when he has long hair, he still looks good overall—and spends most of his onscreen time shirtless. And finally, much later in the film, there’s some cute man tush during a shower sex scene.

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EVIL LAUGH

After the initial murder scene in this late 80s slasher, we’re treated to TWO shirtless muscle men in tight jeans! And one of them is Scott Baio’s brother! In fact, there are hunky shirtless men throughout this flick. One in a spiked collar and black undies, one in tight shorts...who gets naked and has his ass squeezed by another man! And don’t miss the ridiculous scene of white people dancing to cheesy 80s dance music. It’s hysterical. The whole premise of the movie is that the killer heckles when claiming victims.

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FEVER LAKE

Mario Lopez. SHIRTLESS.

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FINAL STAB

Holy Crap! Call the Guiness Book of World Records! This slasher starts with a MALE shower scene! Of course it does—it’s a David DeCouteau film. As with all the director’s flicks, this is loaded with cute guys. Also watch out for a blond who’s got a tight, rippled body when he appears in only his black tighties.

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FLESH EATER

Simply awesome. S. William Hinzman is the man who played the very first zombie you see in the original 1968 Night of the Living Dead. About 20 years later, he cast himself as the lead zombie in his unofficial follow-up. This film is loaded with cute guys with bad 80s haircuts and tight-tight-tight 80s jeans. Men just don’t fill jeans the way they used to…. Best part: the biggest muscle stud with the biggest muscle ass lasts through the end.

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FREDDY VS. JASON

It doesn’t get any sexier than Freddy and Jason getting nasty together. Just kidding. Young stud Jesse Hutch didn’t shave his chest or armpits for the camera. He beds my fave femme fatale Katharine Isabelle. And Brendan Fletcher, who has done his fair share of horror flicks, pushes his cute bare buns up against a piece of plexi-glass in this one.

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FRIDAY THE 13TH PART 3

There had to be at least a few studs in this long running series! Jeffrey Rogers, a cute dark haired guy with a smooth lean body, goes shirtless, and has a habit of walking on his hands…which makes for a messy death scene!

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FRIDAY THE 13TH PART V: A NEW BEGINNING

Lead actor John Shepherd goes shirtless a lot, and has a nice tight, ripped body. His character Tommy is brought back in the next installment, unfortunately, he doesn’t reprise the role. His isn’t the only nice, shirtless body in the film, either.

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THE FRIGHTENING

Director David DeCoteau works his homoerotic magic—plenty of incredible young bodies in TIGHT underwear.

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FROM BEYOND

The real treat in this film is to see Ken Foree, who is basically the ultimate black horror hero (you’ll know him when you see him), running around in nothing but a banana hammock! Another horror movie staple, Jeffrey Combs, surprises with a very well-defined body that he shows off in several scenes.

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FROM DUSK TILL DAWN

This awesome film that creeps up on you and suddenly turns into a horror movie stars not only the ever-sexy George Clooney, but special effects master Tom Savini, still looking good and beefy, with a little something extra in the crotch area….

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FROM DUSK TILL DAWN 2: TEXAS BLOOD MONEY

Like ‘em Latin and beefy? Then look no further than this one. Raymond Cruz is shirtless for his entire run in this film. Short and stocky with full lips and thick dark hair. Yum. He does push-ups for the camera in his first scene. Later on, he does SEX push-ups with a woman. So much of the scene focuses on his body and face—and the sheet falling down off his ass. And let me just say, if he fucks like that in real life, OUCH (in a good way).

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THE FUNHOUSE

They just don’t get any 80s cuter than the male lead in this film—who wears a nipple hugging shirt…and tight jeans! What a hottie!

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GHOULIES IV

The series went complete camp with this final entry, which was loaded with slutty chicks. The saving grace for the gays is Peter Liapis. A phenomenal feat, the filmmakers managed to get him back from the FIRST movie 9 years before! In that time, he went from pretty boy to MAN. Here, he’s rugged and beefy for those of us into mature men. He takes off his shirt quite a bit—although, he’s surprisingly got no hair on his meaty chest, making me suspect he shaved it. There’s also a close-up of bare-ass, but I can’t be sure that it isn’t a butt double, though.

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THE GRUDGE 2

Way too many school girls running around in this sequel, but there is one scruffy young stud who showers while his Asian girlfriend gets grudged to death in the bedroom. When he comes out of the shower, he is in a very low hanging towel, and he's got that gorgeous lower abs V definition framing his treasure trail. You know just what I'm talking about....

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HACK

A slasher that tries way too hard to make as references as possible to other movies—not just horror either—this flick has several extremely cute guys, and some hot man ass in a g-string…underwater.

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HALLOWEEN II

Leo Rossi made his mark on the genre starring in all the Relentless films. But before that he had a great nude scene and a great body and ass in this film. Get a great look at his meaty mounds when he steps out of a hot tub.

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HALLOWEEN III: SEASON OF THE WITCH

Yes, the one that has nothing to do with Michael Myers. Watch it as a stand alone with no expectations, and it’s a pretty creepy concept. Anyway, Tom Atkins, a daddyish mustached man who is no stranger to horror films, shows his derriere when he gets out of bed.

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THE HAZING

Title says it all. If there’s hazing, of course there are men in undies! It actually kicks the movie off—but they are in bra and panties…. But they soon remove the bras. One of them is Asian cutie Parry Shen, who is no stranger to horror movies and TV shows. A blond cutie spends time in a wifebeater, leather pants and spiked collar.

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HEADSPACE

What a tease. Two fleeting scenes where you get glimpses of the cute derriere of a nice looking bearded blond guy.

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HELL NIGHT

80s men, 80s men, everywhere! Vincent Van Patten (son of Dick Van Patten of the TV show Eight is Enough) has an amazing body—and runs around in print boxers! Most of the boys are hunky here.

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HELLRAISER III: HELL ON EARTH

Odd to pick this one out of the eight that have been made (EIGHT! Can you believe it???). Muscle stud J.P. Monroe runs around practically naked, his body glistening with oil, which makes this one of the most memorable of the series for gay guys!

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HIDE AND CREEP

This low-budget zombie movie practically begins with a guy walking around naked. He’s a little out of shape, but he’s got a chubby butt with some peach fuzz…and you even see some serious frontal!

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HOSTEL

Way before this film gets gruesome and disturbing (and it does), lead actor Jay Hernandez lights up the screen as a bad boy and somewhat of a prick. Keep an eye out for the sauna scene (another character spreads his butt cheeks!) and also Hernandez getting down to his boxer briefs!

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HOUSE OF THE DEAD

People HATE this movie! It’s SO cheesy that I absolutely love it—particularly because of the obnoxious continual clips of the actual video game thrown into the middle of the action. It’s a throw away video game, so the movie should have the same exact feel. And it does. Mindless fun. The treat for hunk hunters is a guy named Will Sanderson. He looks like an all-American class clown, and he’s just adorable. At one point he gets on all fours, hovering over his girlfriend, and arches his back, leaving his tight jeans to stretch taut against his bubbly buns. Magnificent.

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HOUSE OF THE DEAD 2: DEAD AIM

Not sure which one zombie fans hate more, this or the first. I think the zombie action is better in this one. And there are hunky army men of every race and nationality—all mostly shirtless in a locker room scene. You can practically smell the jockstraps.

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HOUSE OF WAX

Another movie horror fans seem to hate that I thought was a load of slasher fun and fear. There are plenty of cute guys, too, including Chad Michael Murray of One Tree Hill, who looks the most manly I’ve ever seen him in this flick, Jared Padalecki of Supernatural, muscular and black Robert Ri’chard (who shows some skin!) and a rough but sexy man named Brian Van Holt.

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THE HOWLING

Not only does this classic werewolf film boast incredible special effects and Dee Wallace-Stone, one of my fave femme fatales, but it also features her bearish and, sadly, late husband, Christopher Stone. I’ve had a crush on him since 1978 when he was Lindsay Wagner’s boyfriend on The Bionic Woman. In The Howling, you get a quick glimpse of his tush…and he goes beyond being a bear….!

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HOWLING II: YOUR SISTER IS A WEREWOLF

This goofy sequel is still watchable with its bad makeup effects and exploitation of female bodies. Besides, it manages to slip in some man candy. The blond male lead is quite cute, looks great in tight 80s jeans, and even shows some nice pecs and nipples. One of the male werewolves has a great body in human form, but we’re mostly teased with it, although there’s a great bare back scene (no, not that kind of bare back). Finally, there’s a really bizarre moment where there is a major close-up on the muscle ass and thighs of some guy who’s hitchhiking in TINY tight shorts. In fact, he becomes a victim within moments—his ass gets more camera time than his face. It doesn’t get any better than that!

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HOWLING IV: THE ORIGINAL NIGHTMARE

The absolute gorgeous Michael T. Weiss of the TV show The Pretender co-stars in this fourth sequel. While he has really horrible long 80s hair, he’s got sexy George Michael facial scruff, and his hairy chest is on display constantly (and no, not as a werewolf). There is a small role by a muscular blond actor named Antony Hamilton, and he is so hot he would have upstaged Michael if he’d been in the film more!

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IDLE HANDS

There are no hot studs in this one, but it makes my list for one reason only—it is the only evidence I have that the “Chiller” hand with six fingers actually exists! If you grew up in the 1970s, you may have seen this promo for horror late shows on broadcast TV. This short animated clip was always more scary than the movie showing. And just imagine what a hand with six fingers could do to you…. Okay, now I’m just being plain gross.

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I'LL ALWAYS KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER

WHY??? You may ask yourself. Believe me, this third film in the series is a total rehash of the original, with a lame ending. But there is one stud moment. A blond lifeguard with a sweet torso and some knobby nipples.

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I'LL BURY YOU TOMORROW

This low budget gore fest is super schlock. Alan Rowe Kelly, the writer and director, is one of the lead characters, playing a female body thief (he’s a total gender-bender). This is a real twisted film, so if you’re strictly into mainstream stuff, beware. The reason it makes the Stud Stalking list is because a man named Jerry Murdock, who plays the sheriff investigating odd goings-on at a funeral parlor, is so incredibly sexy, with chiseled features, spiky graying hair, gorgeous eyes, and a hunky, masculine physique. He plays a dual role as his own brother, looking like some serious rough trade in his disguise, showing off more of his muscles in tight jeans and tight T-shirt. I could look at this man all day.

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JASON GOES TO HELL

Oh yeah! In the ninth installment of the Friday the 13^th series, a total muscle stud takes off all his clothes during a tenting scene, and you see plenty of views of his buns. And the real shocker…he didn’t SHAVE them!

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JAWBREAKER

Not exactly a ‘horror’ movie, but a total goth edge, with vicious girls, murder and camp. An amazing cast including many of my fave femme fatales. Rose McGowan’s character has a boyfriend with a delectable body. And, while he’s practically naked, she makes him suck on an ice pop like it’s an erect penis. HOT.

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JAWS 3-D & JAWS THE REVENGE

Okay, so the sequels got worse as they went on…but these had some hot properties. There’s a small appearance in the beginning of 3 by a mega-hunk who works at the water park setting…he’s the first one to go, sadly. Mario Van Peebles spends a lot of time in water in the atrocious fourth installment.

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JEEPERS CREEPERS 2

A cheap thrill ride in more ways than one. Personally, I could watch both Jeepers Creepers movies over and over again. This one has an edge because it’s loaded with frat boy types who, at one point, lie across the top of a school bus, all sunbathing shirtless.

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KILLER BASH

DeCoteau is at it again. This time, the director focuses on fraternity boys in their undies, with particular attention to the erect nipples of a real hottie doing bench presses as the boys all pump iron shirtless!

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KILLER INSTINCT

Aside from the fact that this slasher has an appearance by my fave femme fatale Dee Wallace-Stone, there are a few cute victims—I mean—men, and the absolute hottest of the bunch, a dark and muscular guy, gets tied to a bed completely naked with just a small cloth over his crotch….

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KILLER CLOWNS FROM OUTERSPACE

An 80s cheese classic—if you hate clowns, this one will actually freak you out. The two lead males, one dark haired and blue-eyed, the other a blond cop, are both adorable in that 80s kinda way. Tragically, there’s no shirt removal!

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KILLJOY 2: DELIVERANCE FROM EVIL

Ah, another clown flick. This is a sequel to a low-budget blaxploitation horror flick. The beautiful man in this film is one Charles Austin. Deep dark skin, full lips, sexy goatee—and a HOT body and big nipples he shows for only a quick moment! What a tease! Be warned: Killjoy is one creepy M.F.er!

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LAKE DEAD

The lead actor is so pretty, with a great body, and appears shirtless.

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LEECHES

David DeCoteau gone wild! Here, the director basically creates a cheesy 50s bad special effects monster movie with softcore exhibitionism! SO many hot young men in speedos, some HUGE nipples, and even an older very hot swim coach who shows off some sexy, hairy armpits! I don’t know how DeCoteau focuses so much on male physiques yet never seems to get the boys in anything less than their underwear!

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LEPRECHAUN

In the late 80s, if you needed an all-American, football hero type, you called on an actor named Ken Olandt, from April Fool’s Day, who is the lead opposite Jennifer Aniston in this campfest—and of course, shows off his muscles in a tank and tight jeans. Ken also has a scene in a G-string in the non-horror film Summer School.

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LEPRECHAUN 4: IN SPACE

There’s something about army men in space. Especially lead Brent Jasmer. This hunk can tug on my gravity any day. Looks like a Sylvester Stallone clone gone horribly right. Great piece of campy trivia: he appears in scream queen Linnea Quigley’s “Horror Workout.”

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LEPRECHAUN IN THE HOOD

African-American men don’t get much more beautiful than Anthony Montgomery. And wait until you see Rashaan Nall shirtless, showing off his Marky Mark body. HOL-Y! For camp value, there’s also a big old transvestite who takes a fancy to one of the guys in the film.

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LEPRECHAUN: BACK 2 THA HOOD

There are men in this world whose faces are just natural works of art. Lead actor Laz Alonso is one of them. Simply beautiful. As a bonus, he appears shirtless in his boxers…. And you thought there was no reason two watch the sixth installment in this series, the second of the blaxplotation variety.

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THE LOCALS

This one offers some surprises if you stick with it in terms of plot. But the reason to watch it is because the dark-haired lead is such an unassuming cutie!!!

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LOVER'S LANE

Now THIS is how you start a slasher about the hook man. A hunk with a gorgeous face falls out of a car on ‘lover’s lane’ with his jeans around his ankles, in his tighty-whities, with his shirt open to show off his hairy chest. Male casting is perfect all around. The young men are cuties, and the sheriff is one distinguished, chiseled daddy!

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LUTHER THE GEEK

What a freaky slasher killer! You have to see it to believe it. It’s actually quite disturbing. But there’s a blond guy who, although nothing special, takes off his shirt…then gets down to his tighty-whities…then gets out of them completely to show off his lean body and cute butt…then has his girlfriend soap up his nipples…then turns around so she can wash his back, at which point she playfully pokes him between the butt cheeks with the soap!

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(click here to continue stalking men in movies A-D.)

(click here to continue stalking men in movies M-S.)

(click here to continue stalking men in movies T-Z.)

©2008 Daniel W. Kelly