Horny for horror movies? Think there’s way too much T&A of the female variety to satisfy a gay guy? That’s where Stud Stalking comes in. I’ve created a list of must-see horror and goth themed films, but not exactly because they’re going to scare the pants off of you. Although, when you lay your eyes on some of these horror hunks, you may want to lose the pants anyway….
Follow me on Twitter to keep up with new additions to Stud Stalking!
Click that handy Twitter button right over there >>>
ABSENTIA
Some of us like them with some meat on their bones. Not gonna lie—I’m in love with the chubby hubby bear cop.
ADAM & EVIL
An all-American athletic type runs around in just boxers in the first five minutes of this slasher. The male cast includes some pretty boys and a couple of rough bearish men!
AMITYVILLE HORROR (REMAKE)
I am very close to the original Amityville Horror incidents, both true and false, since I grew up on Long Island, so I was totally bummed by this movie, which claims to be “based on a true story,” yet changes EVERYTHING about the original story the Lutz’s fabricated…as well as the architectural structure of the house! This is a special effects haunted house movie that opted for name familiarity. The saving grace is that Ryan Reynolds spends almost the entire movie shirtless in nearly sheer pajama bottoms that dip super low in both the front and back, and he sports a thick beard! For a movie featuring a shirtless Ryan without a beard…see Blade: Trinity below.
ANACONDAS
This sequel is a fun, hokey joyride with vastly improved special effects. Plus, just about every man in this movie is hot: the stunning dark chocolate Morris Chestnut; Matthew Marsden with his sexy British accent; Latin hunk Nicholas Gonzalez. And in this melting pot of beauty (although, none of these men take off their shirts), there is Johnny Messner. Tattoos, blue eyes, facial scruff, and nips that practically rip through his tight shirt. From the moment he appears on screen, he’s as dirty as a sex pig. He’s also wet or sweaty for most of the movie. And he wrestles a mechanical alligator! What a man!
AN AMERICAN WEREWOLF IN LONDON
Anyone who crushed on David Naughton in the late 70s after his Dr. Pepper commercials, his hit song “Makin’ It,” and his failed sitcom Makin’ It, was in for a treat when this landmark werewolf film came out. Naughton gets naked quite a bit, revealing a tight body and a gorgeous full butt…that grows a whole lotta werewolf hair! Plus, hitting slow motion allows you to hone in on some flopping wanger.
AN AMERICAN WEREWOLF IN PARIS
Not to be outshined in the hunk department, this sequel casts one Phil Buckman, who clearly makes the gym a top priority in his life. When he’s not wearing a wifebeater, he’s stripping down to nothing but his boxers, a watch, and a choker (and man, does he look good in a collar…).
ANDRE THE BUTCHER
Not the only movie on my list that happens to star porn legend Ron Jeremy—but he’s not the reason this one makes the list. Aside from a couple of gay jokes in this horror comedy, there are also two cute escaped prison inmates chained together for a good part of the movie (one checks out the other’s wiener while he’s peeing). There’s also a young dude with a lean body and long surfer dude hair, who ends up in his tighty-whities.
APRIL FOOL’S DAY
Classic slasher movie. Sexy muscular 80s stud Ken Olandt appears in just his tighty-whities. And it’s more than just a flash. Later, he runs around in wet swimming trunks—and runs out of a boathouse with them down off his buns a bit! Some of the other guys are cute, too.
APRIL FOOL’S DAY (REMAKE)
Features a horrendous gay stereotype, but the guy has a pretty nice body and appears in nothing but silver spandex boxer briefs.
AUTOMATON TRANSFUSION
This indy zombie flick has two hot leads, a white guy and a black guy, and another guy gives us shirtless action and a butt shot as he pulls on his boxers!
THE BACKLOT MURDERS
A total campfest slasher about a rock band video shoot—and surprisingly, there are actually some really gruesome moments. Priscilla Barnes and the gay video director give fantastic over-the-top performances, and some really cheesy chicks with big boobs add to the camp. Then, there are the men. The ‘lead singer’ Brian Gaskill is an adorable blond. The ‘drummer’ has a bod of death, and appears with his shirt off. Ironically, the DVD of this movie includes a video of the movie’s theme song by the actual band who recorded the song, and the drummer in the band has an even BETTER body, and also goes shirtless—but wears a mask so you never see his face. And best of all, just to up the body count, they throw in murders of people who don’t even appear in the film but are supposed to be ‘crew’ members on the video set…including a “gorilla juice head” in a wifebeater.
BAD MOON
This lost werewolf flick of the 1990s, with a werewolf reminiscent of those in the original The Howling, stars the studly Michael Paré of Eddie and the Cruisers fame. Although it was 13 years later, his body was still to die for. Get that remote ready, because in the first five minutes he’s completely naked, and if you freeze frame, you can catch a glimpse of his wanger in the bottom right corner of your screen.
BASKET CASE SERIES
Part 1 we see full frontal wiener in a streaking scene. Part 2, the same actor shows us his butt. Part 3, a hottie walks around in a leopard print speedo. And to counter all that stimulation, we have Belial’s ugly head….
BEYOND EVIL
John Saxon has done his fair share of horror films, and is most recognized as Nancy’s father in A Nightmare on Elmstreet. But in this film, he looks so incredibly sexy. Just on the verge of male pattern baldness, his face is chiseled, his dark eyes are gorgeous, he wears tight pants that show of his swelling buns, and he has such a man body and hairy chest. In only tight sleeping bottoms near the end of the movie, he shows off tan, deep ripped abs.
BIG BAD WOLF
What a deliciously campy werewolf film. The first focus on a cute young guy begins at his cute butt, and he later ends up shirtless, running around in his tighty-whities. And if you like them older and rough around the edges, long-time character actor Richard Tyson still has a decent bod, and roams around shirtless and in a sweaty tank top.
BIRTH RITE
Devin Hamilton, who also directed the films Bleed and Delta Delta Die! (both below), is a friend to the gays when it comes to man candy! Actor Danny Wolske, who also appears in Bleed, is just stunning with blond hair, blue eyes, chiseled features, and ripped muscles. He looks more pumped in this film than in Bleed—but shows less of that luscious butt. Another hunky guy gets his clothes magically ripped off by a witch. Ah—if only I had those powers. And the horny young witch also lands herself a naked pretty boy twink who has nothing but his hands over his goodies, and shows off his pert little tush.
BLACK ROSES
This heavy metal horror is not so big on the big hair for some reason, but it is big on the pretty boys with muscles and tight jeans. And the “teacher” in the movie is one sexy man, with beautiful eyes, salt n’ pepper feathered 80s hair, and a porn mustache.
the BLADE trilogy
I would advise you to watch all three Blade movies because of the luscious Wesley Snipes and his rippling, glistening muscles, and a tendency to be shirtless. But the third film, in my opinion, is called “trinity” because there are three gods in it. First, we have the just mentioned Wesley Snipes. Next, there is the ridiculously masculine and beautiful Dominic Purcell of Prison Break—and his head isn’t shaved in this film. Plus, you get some momentary shirtless scenes of him—before he, uh, morphs. And finally, Ryan Reynolds, shirtless, on his knees and chained up. I totally read his character in this film as being gay. Pay attention to all his campy lines and you’ll see what I mean. Plus, his interplay with Parker Posey totally implies a fag and hag relationship.
BLEED
This is one low budget slasher, but I found it fairly entertaining. Particularly since it’s LOADED with adorable, pumped men who are constantly taking their clothes off and showing off some of the hottest muscle butts! You won’t believe how much man booty is in this movie—including a big hairy one! Director Devin Hamilton gives us more of the same in Birth Rite and Delta Delta Die!
BLOOD CREEK
As if it isn’t enough that this zombie/demon movie co-stars delectable Dominic Purcell of Prison Break, lead Henry Cavill is more than adorable once he takes off his shirt and ties himself up to be, um, sucked on by the demon….
BLOOD DOLLS
Such a great, terrible, cheesy rip-off of the Puppet Master movies. This ridiculous flick features the exploitation of a male for a change—as a business-type spends almost the whole movie in leather or a leopard thong playing the submissive slave to a dominatrix.
BLOODY MURDER 1 & 2
There are a few cuties and bods in this Friday the 13th rip-off series. In part 1, the real beefcake belongs to the meaty head counselor. Only thing is—he needs to just give in to his male pattern balding and shave it all off, because the thinning hair just isn’t working. The sequel blows away the first movie, and is a pretty damn good slasher. There are several cuties in this one, and a few bodies on display. The best bod of all belongs to a black beauty after he steps out of a shower stall.
BLOODY MOVIE
In this really odd campy slasher, a biker dude may have really bad Night Ranger hair, but he’s got a body of death…and he’s in leather pants and a leather vest! He also gets naked and shows off his butt! There are a couple of other cheesy 80s hunks, too.
BOOGEYMAN 2
You get to see some close-up of lean male booty during a sex scene in a shower.
BRIDE OF CHUCKY
Brilliantly, the fourth and fifth sequels in the Chucky franchise set up camp so far into the woods that they left mainstream America behind forever, thanks in large part to Jennifer Tilly’s performances. Bride gets added gay points for having the fierce (and sometimes vicious) Alexis Arquette doing what she does best…gender-bending. The hunk focus here is on lead actor Nick Stabile. This gorgeous young man has a shirtless scene in which his tanned, tight muscles are gleaming in the sun. Absolutely scalding.
the BROTHERHOOD series
Director David DeCoteau has made a career out of B horror movies filled with young men in their underwear. Often, it’s nearly sheer wet underwear in this series, with tons of self-exploration of chests and rippling torsos, as well as lots of platonic shared touching. In terms of man candy—and, ironically, quality of the plots for each film—the order is 4, 2, 1, 3. There is no connection between any of the movies, but they always revolve around some supernatural group of elite young men in a sort of campus environment.
BURIED ALIVE
Steve Sandvoss, the cutie Mormon in the gay film Latter Days, has a major role in this slasher, and it’s always nice to look at him for long stretches of time. You also see some man butt briefly at the beginning of the film.
CABIN IN THE WOODS
Two hotties of Abercrombie caliber, and some nice shirtless action. Plus, one character makes the “I learned it from watching you!” reference, even though she probably wasn’t even BORN when that awesome PSA aired in the 80s.
CAMP BLOOD TRILOGY
Since the DVD is all three movies on one disc, it’s easiest to knock this off in one shot. Fact is, the men get progressively hotter as the series goes on. Each film has a cutie or two and some nice jean and tank top action, but it is in the third one that a hunk takes off his shirt.
CAMPFIRE TALES
Ron Livingston of Sex and the City (Mr. Post-it) appears in one segment of this anthology, and has his shirt off quite a bit. He also runs out into the woods naked, but you only get to see shadows of his tush in the dark. Another segment stars the late Glenn Quinn, who played Mark on the TV show Roseanne. He was so very cute.
CANDYMAN 3: DAY OF THE DEAD
Finally a man cast in this series is sweet enough to live up to the title. Of course, Tony Todd is always a hunky if not menacing presence…and that VOICE (ooh yeah. Hurt me, Candyman!). The bonus here is the Latin hotness of Jsu Garcia. He was a teenager in the original A Nightmare on Elmstreet, but he’s all man in this one. Tall, dark, and hunky.
THE CAVE
Okay, so the movie might be really bad, but it is a stud banquet. A mostly male cast, all in wet suits, including Cole Hauser (chin cleft of death), Eddie Cibrian (dimples of death), Morris Chestnut (lips of death), Rick Ravanello (arms of death).
CEMETERY MAN
Our man Rupert Everett carries this entire gross out zombie-fest by himself…and spends a lot of time shirtless. Plus you get a glimpse at his tush.
CHILLERS
This extremely low-budget 80s anthology movie has some creepy moments. The first story, set around a swimming pool, features a hunky swimmer in a speedo the whole time. Unfortunately, he’s not exactly alive after a while….
CHOPPING MALL
This is a horror/sci-fi from 1986. Great title if it was actually a stalker doing the killing, but instead it is mall security robots gone wild! All the guys are cute, even the two geeky ones, and they all run around shirtless! Actor Russell Todd has HUGE lips and appeared in Friday the 13th Part II. The stud in the film, John Terlesky, who appears in his tighty-whities, gets killed first, naturally, since he’s the most likely to have sex!
CHRISTINA’S HOUSE
Double your cuties. Brendan Fehr is Christina’s boyfriend, with disheveled hair, big full lips, and a nice long and strong nose. Blond hottie Brad Rowe is a hunky fix-it-man, and you know what that means: scruffy facial hair, dirty jeans, dirty body. Tongue bath anyone?
CLUB DREAD
This slasher comedy that gets a bad rap can’t be all that bad—since it opens with a cutie in the woods who wants his girlfriend to lick his chest and nips! And the unassumingly adorable Steve Lemme spends a majority of the movie shirtless, often in tight little shorts!
THE COVENANT
The best part of the film is the incredibly cute young men, particularly lead Steven Strait (what a tragic last name!). He’s simply gorgeous. There are a couple of fantastic shirtless scenes, including a locker room shower scene involving bare butts. And there’s also a man-on-man kiss!
A CRACK IN THE FLOOR
An early tease seems promising. A quite handsome chap with tight jeans and a delectable tush takes his shirt off—but the camera is focused on his lower half, so you don’t see much of anything! The other real payoff in this film is those adorable dimples on Mario Lopez. He appears briefly wearing a white tank top, but I would have liked to have seen some crack in A Crack in the Floor.
CREEPSHOW 2
The man meat in this sequel is in one of my favorite stories of all the Creepshow stories, entitled “The Raft.” A total 80s California blond strips down to his speedo.
CREEP VAN
Just read my blog and you’ll know why I’ve added this one to Stud Stalking.
CUTTING ROOM
Some nice, polished, hairless man meat in the first 15 minutes of this slapstick horror flick.
DAGON
Overlooked creepy flick by the director of the Re-Animator movies. The star is Ezra Godden. He’s Clark Kent sexy. He has his shirt off a lot at the beginning of the movie—and shows a profile of his cute butt.
DARK FIELDS
As soon as the film switches to “Present Day,” some serious hot shirtless action.
DARKNESS FALLS
This movie gets such a bad rap. For me, it’s a fun little thrill ride I can get on again and again. The lead actor, Chaney Kley, is a fun little thrill ride I’d like to get on again and again as well. Alas, he never shows any flesh.
DARK RISING
This cheesy sci-fi flick co-stars Jason Reso, a sexy dude with reddish blond hair, a goatee, and what looks like some nice muscles modestly hidden behind “dude” clothes, which is what makes him so appealing. I Googled this cutie only to find out he’s a wrestler by the name of Christian Cage and that body I thought he might have he absolutely does have. But I’d still rather see him dressed in his casual clothes than those little wrestling speedos.
DARKWALKER
In this wicked low budget 2003 monster slasher, the lead male is an absolutely adorable dark haired guy. And the over the top redneck sheriff is a big bear goon. His muscles practically rip through his shirt, and his open collar displays some serious white fuzz!
DAWN OF THE DEAD (ORIGINAL)
Late in this film, Tom Savini, special effects master (don’t know what went wrong on this film featuring zombies with blue-painted faces), shows up as a biker, with a built body and the tightest jeans that show off his nice meaty tush. Plus, he sports a 1970s gay porn star mustache that even straight guys were wearing back then…yummy.
DAYS OF DARKNESS
These undead are going to be feasting on some prime cuts of filet mignon because there is an A1 Steak Sauce worthy trio of men in this film, including the adorable lead, a strikingly handsome gay character, and a seriously pumped bald black daddy!
DEAD & BREAKFAST
Awesome slapstick horror comedy. For starters, I have a thing for Jeffrey Dean Morgan, who plays the bearish, bearded sheriff here. He’s also the dad (daddy!) on Supernatural. But the real hunk sneaks up on you in this one. Erik Palladino proves to be adorable as the film progresses, with a great little bod. He never gets undressed, but it’s easy to see all his muscles—and his thick lips are mesmerizing….
DEAD AND ROTTING
A low budget flick about three men who go up against a witch. The lead actor, Stephen O’Mahoney, has a highly toned body—lean and perfect—and he spends much of the movie shirtless in either tight underwear or long johns.
DEAD DUDES IN THE HOUSE
This film from 1991 looks like it was definitely filmed before 90s fashion came into vogue. The lack of budget is what makes this film so frickin’ creepy. The lead male character has it going ON. Amazing body and tight jeans that show off all his assets.
THE DEAD HATE THE LIVING
Cheesy, comedy camp zombie flick. One of the actors in this “movie-within-a-movie” walks around in a banana hammock in the first few minutes of the film! Okay, so he’s painted yellow and spewing fake blood from the mouth, but he’s got a nice bod. And the lead in the actual movie, Eric Clawson, has dark hair and an absolutely adorable soul patch.
DEADHEADS
This zombie comedy features a hot black anti-hero. Beautiful face, beautiful bod, wears a white tank through most of the film, takes it off once, and is always shiny and oiled.
DEAD MEN WALKING
The first zombie prison movie to make my list (also see Zombie Death House below). Many people seem to hate this movie, but personally, it’s one of my favorite zombie films in my collection. Since it takes place in a prison, it is LOADED with men. And the lead actor, Griff Furst, is just delicious, reminding me of a slightly more rugged Joey Lawrence.
DEAD TONE
Despite having one of the most annoyingly stereotypical gay characters ever—I’m sure straight and gay viewers alike were cheering for his death—this slasher is loaded with clean-cut white boys and athletic black hunks. Plenty of shirts are removed, and in the end, the killer feels it necessary to shed some layers to do his dirty work in a tight fitting tank top that perfectly showcases his lean, muscular physique. Not to mention, one of them is the cute guy from Another Gay Movie.
DEEP BLUE SEA
This cheesy attempt to bring back the “Jaws” genre totally grew on me, and I can watch it over and over. It helps that the absolutely stunning Thomas Jane is in a tight wetsuit the whole time. He would go on to color his hair black for The Punisher—a title I’d love to see him earn in a very different way! And let’s not forget, ever-sexy LL Cool J is also in this film, but WAY too clothed.
DEEP IN THE WOODS
This French film is incredibly atmospheric and a nod to director Dario Argento. A young dark-haired guy has moments where he looks great, and a blond Adonis gets naked (you see butt). There’s also some bizarre underlying, unexplained, homoerotic themes.
DELTA DELTA DIE!
This is director Devin Hamilton’s gayest movie simply because it’s so over-the-top campy—it’s definitely one that gay guys will be quoting. And just like in Bleed and Birth Rite, there are plenty of hunky guys naked during a shockingly elongated scene of full frontal nudity by a pool! The plot is that a bunch of sorority girls hack up hot and sexy jocks and bake them into delta delta pies….
DEMONS 2
You just have to see the oiled up, shirtless gym bunnies in tight 80s shorts fighting off a pack of demons with dumbbells. Awesome.
THE DENTIST
Dentist Corbin Bernsen inflicts some serious pain on those who make him angry. One of his targets is the pool boy—and let me tell you, this pool boy can skim the scum from my surface anytime! Be warned, there’s also some over-the-top wicked teeth torture.
DO YOU WANNA KNOW A SECRET
You’ll find this slasher in bargain bins. But it’s got a grown and muscular Joey Lawrence billed as Joseph Lawrence, adorable Chad Allen, and a hunky black guy. And they spend most of the film either shirtless or in wifebeaters.
DON’T ANSWER THE PHONE
Honestly, it’s kind of disturbing to find something sexy in this film, which I feel is more of a brutal misogynistic piece than a horror movie. It’s about a psychotic Vietnam vet who rapes and strangles women. However, Nicholas Worth, the balding, beefy, bearish actor who plays the killer has a frighteningly powerful sexual presence on screen. He’s shown shirtless in the very first scene, there’s footage of him pumping iron, and he even appears in black underwear at one point.
DORIAN (aka: Pact with the Devil)
This horror retelling of Oscar Wilde’s The Picture of Dorian Gray stars stunning Ethan Erickson, who gives head to a popsicle in Jawbreaker. You get so much more of him and his ripped physique in this film.
DORM OF THE DEAD
This totally low budget zombie flick starts off promising with a techno-trance track and an adorable college type with dark hair on a bed in his tank top and jeans—much focus on his crotch! The cute college types in jeans persist, but you have to ask yourself…why do all the good ones get eaten??? There’s even a hot college professor…who looks like a college kid.
DR. GIGGLES
A tight-bodied surfer dude with huge nips takes a bath with a condom in this one.
ELVIRA: MISTRESS OF THE DARK
My favorite goth diva did her gay fans right casting the God-like Daniel Greene as her love interest in this campfest. He’s a big hunky football player type and plays it dumb in this film, which makes him all the more sexy! In the 1990s, before she’d made her second film, Elvira’s Haunted Hills (which features a shirtless hunk who doesn’t speak English!), I went to her book signing in New York City, and the conversation went just like this:
ME: Elvira, when are you going to make a sequel to Mistress of the Dark?
CASSANDRA PETERSON (her real name): I’m workin’ on it, honey.
ME: Well, you must cast that stud from the first movie again.
CASSANDRA: Ooh la la! He was HOT! (dramatic pause followed by a conspiratorial whisper) I heard he’s working at a Home Depot in Ohio!
EVIL BREED: THE LEGEND OF SAMHAIN
This inbred killer family flick has an appearance by Richard Grieco. Although I hate when he has long hair, he spends most of his onscreen time shirtless. And finally, much later in the film, there’s some cute man tush during a shower scene.
EVIL LAUGH
After the initial murder scene in this late 80s slasher, we’re treated to TWO shirtless muscle men in tight jeans! And one of them is Scott Baio’s brother! In fact, there are hunky shirtless men throughout this flick: one in a spiked collar and black undies, one in tight shorts…who gets naked and has his butt squeezed by another man! And don’t miss the ridiculous scene of white people dancing to cheesy 80s dance music. It’s hysterical—as is the killer, who heckles when claiming victims.
FEVER LAKE
Mario Lopez. SHIRTLESS.
THE FINAL DESTINATION
The fourth installment of this series has two cuties, and both get shirtless! One comes out of a cabana after sex with his bathing trunks so low he’s showing crack in back and fuzz up front! His death is also very interesting. You could say it’s death by anal…
FINAL STAB
Call the Guiness Book of World Records! This slasher starts with a MALE shower scene! Of course it does—it’s a David DeCouteau film. As with all the director’s flicks, this is loaded with cute guys. Also watch out for a blond who’s got a tight, rippled body when he appears in only his black tighties.
FLESH EATER
S. William Hinzman is the man who played the very first zombie you see in the original 1968 Night of the Living Dead. About 20 years later, he cast himself as the lead zombie in his unofficial follow-up loaded with cute and muscular guys with bad 80s haircuts and tight-tight-tight 80s jeans. Men today don’t fill jeans the way they used to.
FREDDY VS. JASON
It doesn’t get any sexier than Freddy and Jason getting nasty together. Just kidding. Young stud Jesse Hutch didn’t shave his chest or armpits for the camera. And Brendan Fletcher, who has done his fair share of horror flicks, pushes his cute bare buns up against a piece of plexi-glass in this one.
the FRIDAY THE 13th franchise
There had to be at least a few studs in this long running series, but it took until part 3 for the fun to begin. Jeffrey Rogers, a cute dark haired guy with a smooth lean body, goes shirtless, and has a habit of walking on his hands…which makes for a messy death scene in part 3. John Shepherd, lead actor in Part 5: A New Beginning, goes shirtless a lot, and has a tight, ripped body. His character Tommy is brought back in the next installment, unfortunately, Shepherd doesn’t reprise the role. His isn’t the only nice, shirtless body in this film, either. In the ninth installment, Jason Goes to Hell, a total muscle stud takes off all his clothes during a tenting scene, and you see plenty of views of his buns. The real shocker…he didn’t SHAVE them! Finally, in the reboot/remake whatever you want to call it, Supernatural cutie Jared Padalecki is pumped in a tight t-shirt, plus there’s another fine-bodied man shirtless.
THE FRIGHTENING
Director David DeCoteau works his homoerotic magic—plenty of incredible young bodies in TIGHT underwear.
FROM BEYOND
The real treat in this film is to see Ken Foree, who is basically the ultimate black horror hero (you’ll know him when you see him), running around in nothing but a banana hammock! Another horror movie staple, Jeffrey Combs, surprises with a very well-defined body that he shows off.
The FROM DUSK TILL DAWN franchise
The awesome first film stars not only the ever-sexy George Clooney, but special effects master Tom Savini, still looking good and beefy, with a little something extra in the crotch area…. Like ‘em Latin and beefy? Then look no further than Part 2: Texas Blood Money. Raymond Cruz is shirtless for his entire run in this film. Short and stocky with full lips and thick dark hair. Yum. He does push-ups for the camera, then does push-ups…with a woman beneath him. So much of the scene focuses on his body and face—and the sheet falling down off his butt.
FRONTIERS
This nasty French film has a hottie who looks just like Eddie Cibrian with bleached blond hair—he takes his shirt off for a quick peek, but soon after, doesn’t quite look the same anymore…. Meanwhile, there are also a couple of muscle meanies, one who gets shirtless and one who runs around in a tank top the whole time.
THE FUNHOUSE
They just don’t get any 80s cuter than the male lead in this film—who wears a nip hugging shirt…and tight jeans! What a hottie!
GHOULIES IV
The series went complete camp with this final entry, which is loaded with slutty chicks. The saving grace for the gays is Peter Liapis. A phenomenal feat, the filmmakers managed to get him back from the FIRST movie 9 years before! In that time, he went from pretty boy to MAN. Here, he’s rugged and beefy. He takes off his shirt quite a bit—although, he’s surprisingly got no hair on his meaty chest, making me suspect he shaved it. There’s also a close-up of bare-butt, but I can’t be sure that it isn’t a butt double.
THE GINGERDEAD MAN SERIES
Part 1 has a cutie with nice arms in a sleeveless shirt. Part 2 ups the flesh with hotties in open jumpsuits. And part 3 has a shirtless roller disco stud in suspenders.
THE GRUDGE 2
Way too many school girls running around in this sequel, but there is one scruffy young stud who showers while his Asian girlfriend gets grudged to death in the bedroom. When he comes out of the shower, he is in a very low hanging towel, and he’s got that gorgeous V definition framing his treasure trail. You know just what I’m talking about….
HACK
A slasher that tries way too hard to make as many references as possible to other movies—not just horror either—this flick has several extremely cute guys, and some hot man butt in a thong…underwater.
HALLOWEEN II
Leo Rossi made his mark on the genre starring in all the Relentless films. But before that he had a great nude scene and a great body and butt in this film. Get a great look at his meaty mounds when he steps out of a hot tub.
HALLOWEEN III: SEASON OF THE WITCH
Yes, the one that has nothing to do with Michael Myers. Watch it as a standalone with no expectations and it’s a pretty creepy concept. Anyway, Tom Atkins, a daddyish mustached man who is no stranger to horror films, shows his derriere when he gets out of bed.
THE HAZING
If there’s hazing, of course there are men in undies! It actually kicks the movie off—but they are in bra and panties. One of them is Asian cutie Parry Shen, who is no stranger to horror movies. A blond cutie spends time in a wifebeater, leather pants, and spiked collar.
HEADSPACE
What a tease. Two fleeting scenes where you get glimpses of the cute derriere of a nice looking bearded blond guy.
HELL NIGHT
80s men, 80s men, everywhere, including Vincent Van Patten (son of Dick Van Patten of the TV show Eight is Enough—and also one-time bionic boy on the Six Million Dollar Man) has an amazing body—and runs around in print boxers!
HELLRAISER III: HELL ON EARTH
Muscle stud J.P. Monroe runs around practically naked, his body glistening with oil, which makes this one of the most memorable of the series for gay guys!
HELLRAISER: DEADER
There’s a subway of debauchery in this installment of the series, and on it, not only do we see some man butt, there’s full-frontal as a young pretty boy passes by. Plus, a black hottie walks around in nothing but tight jeans–with his body noticeably oiled up!
HIDE AND CREEP
This low-budget zombie movie practically begins with a guy walking around naked. He’s a little out of shape, but he’s got a chubby butt with some peach fuzz…and you even see some serious frontal!
HOSTEL
Way before this film gets gruesome and disturbing, lead actor Jay Hernandez lights up the screen as a bad boy and somewhat of a jerk. Keep an eye out for the sauna scene (another character spreads his butt cheeks!) and also Hernandez getting down to his boxer briefs!
the HOUSE OF THE DEAD series
People HATE these films! It’s perfectly cheesy—particularly because of the obnoxious clips of the actual video game thrown into the middle of the action. The treat for hunk hunters in part 1 is adorable Will Sanderson. He looks like an all-American class clown. At one point he gets on all fours and arches his back, leaving his tight jeans to stretch taut against his bubbly buns. Magnificent. I think the zombie action is better in Part 2: Dead Aim. And there are hunky army men of every race and nationality—all mostly shirtless in a locker room scene. You can practically smell the jockstraps.
HOUSE OF WAX
Another movie horror fans seem to hate that I thought was a load of slasher fun and fear. There are plenty of cute guys, too, including Chad Michael Murray of One Tree Hill, who looks the most manly I’ve ever seen him in this flick, Jared Padalecki of Supernatural, muscular and black Robert Ri’chard (who shows some skin!) and a rough but sexy man named Brian Van Holt.
THE HOWLING franchise
Not only does the original classic werewolf film boast incredible special effects and scream queen Dee Wallace-Stone, but it also features her bearish and, sadly, late husband, Christopher Stone. I’ve had a crush on him since 1978 when he was Lindsay Wagner’s boyfriend on The Bionic Woman. In The Howling, you get a quick glimpse of his tush…and he goes beyond being a bear….! The goofy sequel, Your Sister is a Werewolf, with its bad makeup effects and exploitation of female bodies, manages to slip in some man candy. The blond male lead is quite cute, looks great in tight 80s jeans, and even shows some nice pecs and nips. One of the male werewolves has a great body in human form, but we’re mostly teased with it, although there’s a great bare back scene (no, not that kind of bare back). Finally, there’s a really bizarre moment where there is a major close-up on the muscle butt and thighs of some guy who’s hitchhiking in TINY tight shorts. In fact, he becomes a victim within moments—his butt gets more camera time than his face. It doesn’t get any better than that! Then there’s Part 4: The Original Nightmare. The absolute gorgeous Michael T. Weiss of the TV show The Pretender co-stars. While he has really horrible long 80s hair, he’s got sexy George Michael facial scruff, and his hairy chest is on display constantly (and no, not as a werewolf). There is a small role by a muscular blond actor named Antony Hamilton, and he is so hot he would have upstaged Michael if he’d been in the film more! And let’s not forget the “reboot,” The Howling Reborn. Loads of college cuties, numerous shirtless and oiled studs.
HUMANS VS. ZOMBIES
Almost the beginning, on the beach, tight jeans, shirtless, hot body. College boys and burly police abound. A sexy lead with Jason Priestley 1991 sideburns gets momentarily shirtless…
IDLE HANDS
There are no hot studs in this one, but it makes my list for one reason only—it is the only evidence I have that the “Chiller” hand with six fingers actually exists! If you grew up in the 1970s, you may have seen this promo for horror late shows on broadcast TV. This short animated clip was always more scary than the movie showing. And just imagine what a hand with six fingers could do to you…. Okay, now I’m just being plain gross.
I’LL ALWAYS KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER
WHY??? You may ask yourself. Believe me, this third film in the series is a total rehash of the original, with a lame ending. But there is one stud moment. A blond lifeguard with a sweet torso and some knobby nips.
I’LL BURY YOU TOMORROW
This low budget gore fest is super schlock, so if you’re strictly into mainstream stuff, beware. The reason it makes the Stud Stalking list is because a man named Jerry Murdock, who plays the sheriff investigating odd goings-on at a funeral parlor, is so incredibly sexy, with chiseled features, spiky graying hair, gorgeous eyes, and a hunky, masculine physique. He plays a dual role as his own brother, looking like some serious rough trade in his disguise, showing off more of his muscles in tight jeans and tight T-shirt. I could look at this man all day.
JAWBREAKER
Not exactly a horror movie, this black comedy has vicious girls, murder, camp, and many of my fave scream queens. Rose McGowan’s character has a boyfriend with a delectable body. While he’s practically naked, she makes him suck on an ice pop. HOT.
JAWS 3-D & JAWS THE REVENGE
The worst sequels have the best bods! There’s a small appearance in the beginning of 3-D by a mega-hunk who quickly becomes fish food, and Mario Van Peebles spends a lot of time in water in the fourth installment.
JEEPERS CREEPERS 2
A cheap thrill ride in more ways than one. Personally, I could watch both Jeepers Creepers movies over and over again. This one is loaded with frat boy types who, at one point, lie across the top of a school bus, all sunbathing shirtless.
KILLER BASH
DeCoteau is at it again. Fraternity boys in their undies, with particular attention to the erect nips of a real hottie doing bench presses as the boys all pump iron shirtless!
KILLER CLOWNS FROM OUTERSPACE
An 80s cheese classic—if you hate clowns, this one will actually freak you out. The two lead males, one dark haired and blue-eyed, the other a blond cop, are both adorable in that 80s kinda way. Tragically, there’s no shirt removal!
KILLER INSTINCT
Aside from the fact that this slasher has an appearance by scream queen Dee Wallace-Stone, there are a few cute victims—I mean—men. The hottest of the bunch, a dark and muscular guy, gets tied to a bed completely naked with just a small cloth over his crotch….
THE KILLJOY SERIES
The low-budget blaxplotation sequel Killjoy 2 features the beautiful Charles Austin. Deep dark skin, full lips, sexy goatee—and a HOT body and big nips he shows for only a quick moment! What a tease! Be warned: Killjoy is one creepy M.F.er! Part 4, Killjoy Goes to Hell features a white stud who plays a bailiff in hell (don’t ask) and wears a tiny gladiator outfit through the whole movie (again, don’t ask…just look).
LAKE DEAD
The lead actor is so pretty, with a great body, and appears shirtless.
LEECHES
David DeCoteau gone wild, creating a 50s-style bad special effects monster movie with softcore exhibitionism! SO many hot young men in speedos, some HUGE nips, and even an older very hot swim coach who shows off some sexy, hairy armpits! I don’t know how DeCoteau focuses so much on male physiques yet never seems to get the boys in anything less than their underwear!
the LEPRECHAUN franchise
In the late 80s, if you needed an all-American, football hero type, you called on actor Ken Olandt from April Fool’s Day, who is the lead opposite Jennifer Aniston in the first campfest, showing off his muscles in a tank and tight jeans (Ken also appears in a G-string in the non-horror 80s film Summer School!). Part 4: Leprechaun in Space stars Brent Jasmer, who can tug on my gravity any day. He’s a Sylvester Stallone clone gone horribly right, and he gets more horror cred for appearing in scream queen Linnea Quigley’s “Horror Workout.” Once back on earth, Leprechaun goes ghetto for the next few sequels. African-American men don’t get much more beautiful than Anthony Montgomery from Leprechaun in the Hood. And wait until you see Rashaan Nall shirtless, showing off his Marky Mark body. HOL-Y! Lead actor Laz Alonso of Back 2 Tha Hood has a face that is a work of art. Simply beautiful. As a bonus, he appears shirtless in his boxers…. And you thought there was no reason two watch the sixth installment in this series.
THE LOCALS
This one offers some surprises if you stick with it in terms of plot. But another reason to watch is because the dark-haired lead is such an unassuming cutie!!!
LORD OF ILLUSIONS
An odd stage performance by one of the lords of illusions in this movie features a bunch of tight muscled dancers in G-string leotards. And if that isn’t enough, Scott Bakula is looking particularly tight in this film, with several sweaty shirtless/near naked scenes. Believe it or not, there’s also full frontal! It’s not Bakula, but it’s still worth it.
LOST BOYS: THE TRIBE
If you thought the boys were pretty in the original, wait until you see this gang of vamps.
LOVER’S LANE
Now THIS is how you start a slasher about the hook man. A hunk with a gorgeous face falls out of a car on lover’s lane with his jeans around his ankles, in his tighty-whities, with his shirt open to show off his hairy chest. Male casting is perfect all around. The young men are cuties, and the sheriff is one distinguished, chiseled daddy!
LUTHER THE GEEK
What a freaky slasher killer! You have to see it to believe it. It’s actually quite disturbing. But there’s a blond guy who, although nothing special, takes off his shirt…then gets down to his tighty-whities…then gets out of them completely to show off his lean body and cute butt…then has his girlfriend soap up his nips…then turns around so she can wash his back, at which point she playfully pokes him between the butt cheeks with the soap!
MADMAN
This Friday the 13th clone has a horrendously hokey romantic hot tub scene in which buns flash across the screen as a man climbs into the water.
the MANIAC COP series
The one and only Bruce Campbell is a cutie in part 1! What a compact little body—which he shows off in a shirtless scene that reveals his patch of dark chest hair. In part 2, you actually get to see the Maniac Cop in a flashback before he, you know, died and became a zombie cop. In this flashback, he’s taking a shower when he is jumped by a group of men who pretty much are responsible for making him the maniac cop. He’s got a nice muscle body and a hairy chest—and fights to the death in his birthday suit, glistening with water.
MIDNIGHT
This early 80s film is a really bizarre slasher/redneck psycho family hybrid, takes a really long time to pick up, and then just goes from weird to weirder. However, what is so unique about it is this butch, beefy, bossy mustached cop who looks like he walked out of a modern porno. WHERE did they find this stud??? He comes in really late in the film, but ends up having a major role. And I might as well add that one of the victims in the film has the tightest jeans showing off a butt of DEATH. You’ll know who I’m talking about because he’s playing ball in a yard with his girlfriend.
MONKEY SHINES
Star Jason Beghe—what a hairy, hunky man body. I fell in love with him when I was fourteen and he was a regular on HBO’s 1st and Ten. In this movie, he gets naked and does some incredible aerobic stretching that shows off every ripple in his body—and buttocks!!! You also get to see a younger Stanley Tucci shirtless in a bath towel!
MUSTANG SALLY’S HORROR HOUSE
My 80s fave EG Daily stars as the head mistress at a whorehouse of vindictive women, which will have you laughing out loud instead of screaming out loud. But the real point is, where there are whores, there are horny young men. Six of them in this case. Some stunning bodies here, all the men shirtless, but only one of them eventually showing a quick glimpse of his butt.
MY BLOODY VALENTINE 3D
Let’s face it. Jensen Ackles in 3D for the ENTIRE movie. As if that isn’t enough, there’s some serious bald bearded daddy action, with full rear nudity!
MY LITTLE EYE
In this flick about a group of young people trapped in a house for a reality show, lean mean blue-eyed blond machine Bradley Cooper sizzles—and has a sex scene (with a female).
A NIGHTMARE ON ELMSTREET franchise
Yeah, I know, Johnny Depp is in the first film. But let’s get right to Part 2: Freddy’s Revenge, which has been analyzed for its blatant homoerotic content. Classic moments include the baseball field wrestle match between Mark Patton and adorable co-star Robert Rusler, who yanks down Patton’s sweats, revealing his jockstrap-clad butt, as well as a scene in which Patton is picked up in a gay bar by his leather loving high school coach, who brings him back to the gym shower room for some B&D. My sixteen-year-old id went wild when the coach’s fat juicy butt got whipped by Freddy’s towel. But the hunkiest of them all comes in both Parts 4 and 5. Mega-hunk Danny Hassel is in both films (a male hunk who actually makes it to a sequel!) and take his shirt off.
NIGHT OF THE DEMONS 2
All’s fair in lust and war. This movie opens with female T&A…because two cute guys in only their underwear are spying from across the way with binoculars! The hottest is in boxer briefs. Both appear in tank tops later.
OFFERINGS
This 1989 slasher blatantly steals from John Carpenter’s haunting Halloween theme music! But, we forgive, because there is some sexy shirtless man action in this one!
PARANORMAN
Hot muscle stud brother answers the door in a towel!
PHANTOM OF THE MALL: ERIC’S REVENGE
This late 80s slasher stars Morgan Fairchild, Pauly Shore, and a host of hot 80s guys with tight pants and cut-off shirts. There’s also some shirtless man action.
PIGHUNT
Well, isn’t this an ironic title? This truly bizarre film features a hottie lead who shows off the butt in the first few minutes of the film. There’s also one hot black bearded bald daddy bear! There’s also a young black dude who runs around in his undies for a while.
THE POOL
No-brainer. Slasher movie set at an indoor pool. About half-a-dozen cute shirtless guys.
POPULATION/436
Limp Bizkit’s Fred Durst in a cop uniform. It doesn’t get any sexier than that.
PRIMAL
If I transformed into one of the demonic monsters in this film, I’d be spending a couple of days picking black threads out of my gnarly fangs, because the shirtless hunk in tight black undies would be my first meal…
PRINCE OF DARKNESS
The blond from Simon & Simon offers us a fantastic 80s porn-stache…and a beautifully ripped torso in a few shirtless scenes.
PRISON OF THE DEAD
There are two things that are surprising about this David DeCouteau film. First, only ONE guy struts his stuff in tighty-whities (looks fantastic doing it). Second, for a change, DeCoteau has three male characters actually admit to enjoying the company of other men!
PROM NIGHT IV: DELIVER US FROM EVIL
This series never had much continuity in terms of sequels. But this one has some major man tush…and a cute one at that!
the PUPPET MASTER franchise
Puppet master-bating begins with part 2, in which a very cute and tan hunk with a hairy chest is in bed when he is almost set on fire by the little puppet critters! Luckily, he makes it out of the bed in time…completely naked! NICE booty. And he even looks good when he pulls on just some jeans and runs around shirtless. Curse of the Puppet Master, part 6 of the series, is loaded with cuties, including a bunch of hoods (one who pumps iron with no shirt on), a hot cop, and a protagonist with a great body—that he shows off when he walks around in tighty-whities. Retro Puppet Master, the 7th installment of the long running series, stars blond god Greg Sestero, although his hair is ridiculously high in this film.
THE RAGE: CARRIE 2
It’s one of the worst horror sequels of all time, but it’s predominantly about a football team! Which means a great locker room scene in which a bunch of nice butt are completely exposed in the background as two main characters argue. Not to mention, actor Dylan Bruno is hot, like a tougher and sexier looking version of the Dillon brothers (Matt and Kevin). And one close-up scene of his mouth while he’s on the phone shows every glistening drop of moisture.
REST STOP: DON’T LOOK BACK
So, Joey Lawrence was in the first Rest Stop as a cop (yummy), but never shirtless. As for the sequel…wow. Star Richard Tillman is about as pretty as they get. What a face. Oh, and you also see plenty of his body and fuzzy chest.
RING OF DARKNESS
Boy body-loving director David DeCoteau takes on boy band bodies. And yes, they end up in their underwear. Best of the bunch is the lead actor. What a hunk.
ROAD KILL
How convenient that this film with a very small cast features one stunningly hot dude who shows off the booty in the opening scene of the film then spends the majority of the second half of the film shirtless.
ROCK N ROLL NIGHTMARE
This heavy metal horror is a classic of 80s cheese, loaded with hokey monsters and demons, heavy metal music, and plenty of sex, with a surprising amount of naked man action. John Mikl-Thor is a heavy metal body builder, and we get to see almost every inch of his pumped up physique. Wait until you see his demonic transformation at the end—a silver studded black speedo and matching wrist bands, plus hair teased so high even Poison would be envious.
the SAW franchise
Remember this name: Franky G. This man is a Latin GOD. You get to stare at his massive arms for a good long time in Saw II. Part 4 offers hot black muscles in only black boxer briefs in the first fifteen minutes!
SCARECROW GONE WILD
Don’t let the title or the chick on the front of the DVD case fool you. This third sequel in the cheesy “scarecrow” series is LOADED with shirtless hot men because it takes place mostly on a beach. The movie begins with a hazing in a shower, with a group of guys tied up in just their underwear! The school coach is played by well-muscled WWF champ Ken Shamrock. What a bod.
SCARECROWS
There are quite a few cuties in this creepy 1988 slow burner. One cute-in-a-goofy-way guy has nice arms and a nice big butt. Personally, I was feeling the vibes of a bald and bearded muscle daddy who smoked a cigar throughout the whole film. He seriously looks like he stepped out of a leather fetish porn.
SCARY OR DIE
This anthology of 5 stories features an eerie clown story—the longest in the bunch. It also happens to star an incredibly adorable black dude who spends most of his screen time in just his shorts.
SEVERANCE
A cutie in this horror comedy is caught urinating in the woods. We get a rear view of him with his butt sticking out!
SHREDDER
Gorgeous blond Brad Hawkins is absolutely delectable in this slasher about a bunch of kids trapped at an abandoned ski resort by a mad killer. We first see him shirtless in the middle of a strip poker game (he’s shirtless most of his onscreen time), and later, he steps into a hot tub and we get to appreciate the delectable buns. Plus, in the deleted scenes on the DVD, you get to see the part where he actually strips off his shirt during the poker game.
SHRIEKER
This fun and cheesy monster movie has a HOT stud. Chris Boyd’s first scene has him shirtless on a basketball court, and practically the first words from his mouth are “I’m not gay.” He goes on to explain that because he has short spiky hair and a great body, people think he’s gay…. The director makes sure he is shirtless most of the time.
SHROOMS
Holy hottie alert in actor Robert Hoffman.
the SILENT NIGHT DEADLY NIGHT franchise
Possibly one of the worst sequels of all-time, part 2 is about a character that was a child in the first movie, now an adult in therapy, retelling the ENTIRE first movie—which means it’s predominantly a flashback movie until the very end. However, the man who plays this character is one of the hottest muscle studs that ever made it into the horror genre. Looks like an 80s muscle guido who would be delivering pizzas because, well, he basically is in the film. Within the first 15 minutes of part 4, you get some naked well-toned man back and butt action during a love scene. In part 5, which is sort of a Puppet Master rip-off in which toys come to life, a hottie in tighty-whities is on top of his girl when a toy hand crawls into bed with them and starts poking between his buns with its finger—which puts a big smile on his face because he thinks his girlfriend is doing it!
SKELETON CREW
Nope. Not Stephen King. Sexier. Movie about crew making a movie about snuff films. Some serious male butt and hairy chest. Naked man being flogged if you’re into that.
SLASH
Mega men in this one. In fact, almost the whole cast is male. And it should have been called “flash,” because they spend a hell of a lot of time shirtless! The lead, James O’Shea, is wicked ripped, with abs galore, and swelling nips (wait until you see him chopping wood). And there’s a hot bald black man!
THE SLAUGHTER
This low-budget horror flick patterns itself after Evil Dead. No male nudity, but the cuties are REALLY cute.
SLAUGHTER HIGH
A shocking amount of wangers in this cheesy 80s slasher! The wiener is on the dork who is tormented by fellow students during a cruel prank—which involves two muscle studs holding him upside down, completely naked, with his butt right in their faces.
the SLEEPAWAY CAMP series
Okay, the first film is the only movie that ever managed to terrify me by showing wanger. I was only 14, and something really unexpected happens in this film that sent me from the room screaming. As for the sexy reason to watch this film—there’s a really cheesy 80s guido with a huge muscle bod. He wears just tight wifebeaters and tight 80s short-shorts that show EVERYTHING. Hysterical. It’s basically obscene. In fact, all the guys wear short-shorts and Daisy Dukes, including a really hot Latin camp counselor with a cut off T-shirt that shows off his ultra hairy torso. ONLY in the 80s! 25 years later, several members of the original cast Return to Sleepaway Camp—and little Ricky has grown up to be a fine looking man. Aside from Ricky, there are several other hot shirtless moments…including a daddy type who meets quite an awful end…
SORORITY HOUSE MASSACRE
A Steve Guttenberg-knockoff runs around completely naked. Nice bod, nice butt.
SOUL SURVIVORS
Dark-haired lead Wes Bentley is a little too thin for my tastes—but you get to see his butt.
STAY ALIVE
There’s actually man butt in the first few minutes of this movie during a doggy style sex scene—and NO female T&A! Not to mention, the male lead is quite a cute twink—and appears shirtless at one point, showing off his tight little body.
STEVE NILES’ REMAINS
The amount of edible man meat in this zombie flick is amazing. The male lead is studly and cute in a goofy way. Then there’s an Adonis who does a complete shirtless scene in just a towel after a shower as he’s ogled by a gay male character, with whom he seems to have some serious chemistry…
THE STINK OF FLESH
No-budget, seriously twisted and bizarre yet totally watchable zombie flick. Lead actor Ross Kelly is a frickin’ doll face: deep dark eyes, thick eyebrows, pouty lips, scruffy face. But stocky and short Kurly Tlapoyawa gets naked with just his hands in front of his goodies. If you like meaty, unassuming men, you’re in for a treat—also, his fat little booty bounces practically against the camera lens in numerous scenes, and Ross Kelly is in the room every time (don’t ask why, you really just have to see this bizarre flick to understand). Also, you see some SERIOUS package in an outtake on the DVD!
SUCCUBUS: HELL-BENT
This hokey horror feels like it should have pushed the limits and been more of a softcore porn with a story, but it’s actually very sterile. A sort of dominatrix female ghost is after a young muscular cutie and his friend, who both spend the whole movie trying to have sex—and as a result, are shirtless through most of the film.
TALES FROM THE HOOD
The final story in this black horror anthology features a P.Y.T. who spends most of the story in just a black thong—with his body well-oiled!
TAMARA
The fun thing about this slasher/witchcraft hybrid film is that evil killer vixen Tamara uses her magic to turn two guys gay! Most of the action is left to our imaginations, but these boys do end up in bed together!
TERROR TRACT
John Ritter plays the role of “crypt keeper” in this trilogy of stories (he’s actually a real estate agent telling each of his clients spooky stories about the homes he is showing). The first story has an adorable guy with a lean, buff body and a bit of chest hair, predominantly shirtless throughout. Second story features a quick appearance by a monkey exterminator, played by a gorilla juice head with a wickedly sexy mean look. The third story revolves around an Abercrombie type who showers and even drops the soap! You get to see a quick tush profile. The third story also stars the one and only Mary Alice of Wisteria Lane!
the TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE series
As with all the modern sleek slashers and remakes, the 2003 reboot features quite a pretty cast, including Eric Balfour, Claire’s bo in season one of Six Feet Under (looks rustic!), and Mike Vogel (sexy in a stained grey tank!). Matt Bomer stars in the prequel The Beginning. The first time we see him, he is emerging from a pool, water glistening on his facial scruff and lean, youthful body. His eyes are absolutely stunning. As an added bonus, moments later, we see another cute young man tied to a bed, shirtless—looking really bored at the prospect of having sex with a big-breasted bimbo. And then there’s Texas Chainsaw 3D. Trey Songz was cast pretty much so he could be shirtless and glistening in sweat the whole time, and this actor Shaun Sipos looks AMAZING in soaking wet jeans and a shirt unbuttoned down to the navel.
TIMBER FALLS
Okay, there are whips and chains and Josh Randall’s ridiculous body rippling with muscles as he’s bound up—but don’t forget, it’s also a horror movie. So proceed with caution!
TINTORERA
This cheesy cash-in on the Jaws phenomenon is more a story about a threesome between a woman and two men that is slightly hindered by some shark attacks! Hysterical. BUT, I don’t even know why this woman is having trouble deciding between these two men, because one of them is absolutely drop dead gorgeous despite his 1970s unibrow. He spends most of the movie in a speedo or naked, and you do see plenty of the butt, plus a couple of glimpses of the wanger.
TOOTH FAIRY
Stealing the premise of Darkness Falls, this movie turns into a typical bad slasher. But there’s one guy cuter and hunkier than the next, and all three take their shirts off, including Jesse Hutch (young hunk), Steve Bacic (rocker hunk), and Scary Movie’s Lochlyn Munro (jock hunk).
TRAILER PARK OF TERROR
A couple of cuties are in this zombie flick, including one tight bodied hottie in his boxer shorts. In fact, he’s so cute, one of the male zombies can’t help but grope his cute butt.
TREMORS 3: BACK TO PERFECTION
It’s about time there’s a man in one of these films who is as gorgeous as those big phallic worms are ugly. Shawn Christian. Don’t forget that name. It’s the modern equivalent of Adonis.
THE TRIPPER
Thomas Jane as a cop. This man can role play…I mean, play any role. He looks fantastic with a mustache. As for male nudity, there’s major full frontal when a bushy red-headed flower child struts his stuff in the buff.
TURISTAS
Categorizing this as a horror movie is very questionable, but the fact is, Josh Duhamel is very shirtless for a good amount of it. Another incredibly well-built cutie graces the screen with his muscles later in the film.
TWO EVIL EYES
Hunk Ramy Zada, who stars opposite Adrianne Barbeau in the first story, is gorgeous with a great hairy chest. His shirt isn’t off nearly enough for my tastes.
2001 MANIACS
This remake of the notorious 1960s gorefest 2000 Maniacs couldn’t be any more of a funfest for fags—except for the rather gruesome death of the gay character. Several of the boys are absolutely adorable, and there’s even some delicious dark meat. Mushond Lee is the residential black hunk, and he does a leather scene in leather undies and a mesh shirt to show off his bulges. The lead male character, Jay Gillespie, looks like a young Val Kilmner. Dark-haired and youthful Dylan Edrington has a scene in which he humps a mattress with his butt exposed and pumping, shows off his lean, athletic torso, and even exposes a trimmed patch of pubes. And finally, Brian Gross plays a sexy sort of new wave gay guy (with an implication of being bi). He’s got a great body, short Billy Idol spikes, and hooks up with a big dumb hick (a psycho hick, unfortunately).
THE UNHOLY
The Unholy teaches us that sex is bad and you are evil if you like it. If the Satan worshipping stud in the thong and leather mask doesn’t get you evil enough, wait until his shirtless, muscle bound bodyguard shows up. All I could think when I saw them on screen was, “PLEASE go to hell together!”
UNREST
Don’t ask me how, but a bunch of young med students studying a “haunted” cadaver somehow manage to spend a good part of this movie shirtless, showing off some of the finest ripples imaginable. There’s also lot of time spent screaming at the sight of dead bodies…they’re med students, you’d think a dead body here and there wouldn’t have such a profound effect on them.
THE UNSEEN
This early 80s “creepy beast in the basement” flick has the classic athletic looking boyfriend in the tightest of 80s jeans.
the URBAN LEGEND series
The second film, Final Cut, starts with a shirtless, dark-haired cutie joining the mile-high club. Not to mention, this film is loaded with cuties, including full-lipped blond Matthew Davis, Joseph (Joey) Lawrence, and mature man Hart Bochner. The third film, Blood Mary, has a locker room scene in which two football players go on and on about their friend’s white butt as they watch him shower. But more impressive is the extra to the right of the screen when a fight breaks out. WHAT a body on that nobody! Later, shower boy gets in a tanning bed with tight undies on.
VALENTINE
Another pretty-faced slasher of the new millennium, including David Boreanaz. Denise Richards then ties a tight-muscled guy to a bed for some “hot” kink.
VAMP
Begins with a fraternity pledge—and that’s always fun. Cutie Robert Rusler of A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy’s Revenge is in nothing but black undies.
VENOM
This fun modern slasher that takes place in New Orleans features an adorable dark-haired male lead who climbs out of a lake with water dripping down his tight little ripped body. Made me thirsty…
V/H/S
Boys behaving badly, and I like it. Major man butt in this one, plus quick wiener shots, as well as some meaty man chest with nipple action.
THE VIOLENT KIND
Tiffany Shepis as a demonic bitch. And where there are demonic bitches, there are often sleazy sexy guys. Here, they have sex, fight, act like scumbags—the usual hot stuff. I generally use DVD covers so I won’t have the blue border—but you see more of the Born-in-the-USA-esque ass on the Blu-Ray cover….
VOODOO ACADEMY
I don’t even know why director David DeCoteau bothered putting just one woman in this film that features beautiful young men at a religious school, led by a pretty priest who likes to strap them to a table in their underwear, pour a slick liquid on them, slip on rubber gloves, and then rub them down (I’m NOT kidding). The boys spend much of their time in their underwear, usually rubbing their own chests and nips. Gorgeous youthful hunk Huntley Ritter, who played the gay cheerleader in Bring it On, looks incredible in his tight boxer briefs.
VOODOO MOON
The bod to look out for belongs to Eric Mabius, although, I prefer him with short hair (check him out in the first Resident Evil). In this film, with long hair and shirtless, he looks like something off the cover of a bad romance novel….
WARLOCK III: THE END OF INNOCENCE
There are a handful of cuties in this one, but the cutest by far has a great body with some sexy tattoos, and likes to get tied up and punished by his girlfriend. He’s shirtless, but we never get to see anything below the waist.
WAXWORK
There’s a muscular, shirtless athlete on a high school playing field in the first ten minutes! Not to mention, Zach Galligan, of Gremlins fame, is the lead, and really cute!
WELCOME TO SPRING BREAK
The title tells you all you need to know. Sounds like a teen sexploitation flick—but there’s slaughtering, too! And plenty of man flesh—including a tan muscle hunk as one of the leads. John Saxon plays a cop (as usual). 80s movies are a riot—even the mean biker gang looks gay. Best yet—a wet T-shirt contest of women is balanced by an “oil the muscle stud” contest in which a black guy pulls his shorts down and shows his butt.
THE WICKEDS
It’s a total man feast—I mean, fest. This low budget zombie movie hypes porn legend Ron Jeremy as its star, but it’s actually loaded with cute college-aged guys. There’s HEAVY focus on an adorable, jean-clad butt as one of the boys makes out with his girlfriend and we get to see her absolutely kneading his buns. He does some heavy gyrating between her legs with his shirt off, and oddly, there is footage of him sitting behind her with no clothes on at all—but you see nothing, and then it cuts back to him in jeans. That’s b-movie editing for you. Joyfully, he ends up in tight black undies.
WISHCRAFT
This modern slasher is filled with facial eye candy, including Huntley Ritter of Voodoo Academy, but his phenomenal bod is not highlighted! Actually, there are teases all around, with a pool scene offering just glimpses of bodies, a shower and towel scene that doesn’t reveal much, and an underwear scene that somehow hides everything. Bummer. Also of note for trivia buffs—Meatloaf is in the cast, playing a detective.
the WISHMASTER series
They saved the pretty boys for the last two films. In Part 3: Beyond the Gates of Hell, lead Tobias Mehler is simply adorable, and shows a little flesh! Just a brief lifting of his shirt—but this youthful looking cutie has chest fuzz! I love surprises! There’s also a sexy blond with a great bod and major nip action poking through his shirt, which he eventually loses, if briefly. In Part 4: The Prophecy Fulfilled, two guys get shirtless—one down to his undies. Yet, both of them shirtless pale in comparison to the onscreen presence of Victor Webster, clothed—one of the most beautiful men I’ve ever seen. Special props to the big guy who plays a bouncer at a strip club—I wouldn’t mind meeting him in a dark alley.
WOLF CREEK
While this film sounded terrifying and fast-paced from all the hype it got, it ended up being a real crawler, but one thing made it worth getting on elbows and knees for. Australian actor Nathan Phillips. The camera seemed as in love with every angle of his face and body as viewers, because his beauty is glorified by the lens throughout the film. Gorgeous.
the WRONG TURN series
The first film stars scream queen Eliza Dushku opposite ridiculously handsome Desmond Harrington. His face is so perfectly chiseled. And his body is nothing to complain about either! For Part 2: Dead End, we get Henry Rollins as a serious commando—no he doesn’t GO commando, he acts commando. And yes, he does take his shirt off.
ZOMBIE DEATH HOUSE
What to say about this film? It was directed by John Saxon, who made my list for his role in Beyond Evil (above). This is one of the campiest, gayest prison films ever…with zombies! It stars hunky blond Dennis Cole, who was a regular guest star on shows like The Love Boat and Fantasy Island in the 1970s. I had a huge crush on him then. He was also married to Jacklyn Smith at the time. When his character gets falsely incarcerated in this film, he’s met with catcalls by inmates as he is led to his cell. I don’t blame them for the things they threaten to do to Dennis’s pretty butt. And did I mention the bear daddy and his haircutting pretty boyfriend, who have a poster of Dolph Lundgren on their cell wall? And yes, they do have a brief sex scene together…
ZOMBI 3
There’s a blond hunk in a T-shirt who gets wet in a pond and then goes bad ass on the zombies…with his shirt ripped and showing his hairy pecs. And he’s not the only cutie in this film. There are a couple of other rugged tough guys, sweaty, with five-o’clock shadow…good stuff. Sexiest of all, however, is the spelling of zombi without the e.
ZOMBIE 4
Yeah, you probably haven’t seen any of them. But this one has a really special star…porn great Jeff Stryker! Made in the late 80s when he was big (okay, he’s always been big), he runs around looking like, well, a gay porn star, with tight jeans and a button shirt open all the way to the bellybutton. The odd thing about this dubbed European film…Stryker speaks English, but his lines are still dubbed over by someone else! Unless you’re curious to see Stryker in a zombie film, you’re better off just watching one of his adult films so you can see the full Monty.
ZOMBIES! ZOMBIES! ZOMBIES! STRIPPERS VS. ZOMBIES
Sadly, no male nudity in this one. However, the male lead is unassumingly sexy!
Pingback: Scared stiff: give it the old fist pump if horror makes you hot…. « Bold Strokes Books Authors' Blog
Pingback: More than enough reasons to avoid isolated roads in Texas… | The DAN ZONE