Every photo has a story, and here are short stories about moments in my life.

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Baby me 1970

Mom knew I was a little devil. Check out the crucifix over my shoulder….

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Chocolate Lover 1975

So clearly the youngest, hamming it up for the camera. Notice the chocolate at the corners of my mouth. And so the addiction starts.

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Doggy Dan 1980

Always loved dressing up for Halloween. Eleven years-old and already I’m getting down on all fours and barking like a dog! Actually this is the same year I got my puppy Floyd, who had a huge impact on my young life.

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The Grim Gay 1983

I was extremely obese under this costume. I’d lose the weight a year later. Check out the limp wrists and the left hip jutting out. I was a queen just waiting to be crowned. Before moving on to the next photo, take note of where my mother posed me, near the piano.

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Billy Idol 1984

With a Rebel squeal. One Halloween later, and I’d gone on a crash diet and dropped 50 pounds. Costume looks pretty good, all borrowed from my two hard rockin’ older brothers, but the white hairspray looks only slightly better than the horrendous job done on the character of David in the series finale of Six Feet Under. Oh. And look where mom posed me for the picture. Next to the piano.

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Freddy Kreuger 1987

Yep, that’s me, on an actual Elm Street. Before those cheesy Freddy masks were all over the place, I went full out with makeup and an aluminum glove my brother had crafted. I was never happy with the sweater. I drove my friends crazy hunting for an authentic red and green sweater, but that was the closest we came. This costume wasn’t for Halloween, but for 'senior week' during my final spring in high school. Each day of the week had a different theme. This was “Fantasy Day.” Meaning, what do you want to be when you grow up? Awesome.

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Freaking Freddy

That’s my friend Cathy, who I picked up at like 5:30 in the morning so she could do the makeup job for me. Love her fake scream mouth. And check it out…Mom had us pose by the piano. She must have really loved that corner of the house.

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Black and red 1991

Look at the Richard Grieco hair! I was into the club scene by this time, and just wanted to be in face paint. Wasn’t trying to portray anyone, just came up with this cool idea of the red and black symmetry. Who knew Darth Maul would steal my thunder a decade later? Notice that I refused to stand by the piano for this shot.

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Our first vacation 1993

The Danny Years! Almost one year after I came out, I met this cutie at a club, and I’ve been driving him batty ever since. This was taken during our first vacation on the East end of Long Island in a boating community. Danny’s on the right, I’m in the center, and Jaws is hanging around on the left. And how ill…I’m wearing shorts with sharks on them. But they are not shorts. They are boxers I tried too pass off as shorts!

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village people (sort of) 1996

It really doesn’t work unless you do the whole group, but we did it. I’m the cowboy, Danny’s the construction worker. We actually grew real mustaches! We look like the Mario Brothers in Village People drag.

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Hot Dog 1997

Love this! My co-worker at Barnes and Noble was great at sewing. I asked her exactly what I wanted, and she did it. I’m the bun, inside of which is Danny, the wiener. We walked around like that in Manhattan’s Greenwich Village for HOURS on Halloween night at the parade. It was so exhausting. But it was worth it to have Danny inside me—I mean, next to me—for so long.

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my coffin 1998

This is a nice morbid shot of me from an amazing trip to Salem on Halloween weekend. If you love Halloween and horror and you’ve never been to Salem, you need to do it. But you have to book a room like a year in advance. It’s so good we went back again in 2003 with friends…below.

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BEARISH in 2000

This is just such a great shot of “The Dans” with our winter coats in 2000. It’s so rare for partners to agree that they both look good in a pic. This one meets with our approval.

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GAY DISNEY dans 2000

We went to Gay Days at the theme parks in Florida in June 2000. And we thought we were FAT! What the hell were we thinking? We were embarrassed to take our shirts off at the water park during the circuit party…but our friends eventually stripped them from our bodies. We’re so thin that our heads practically look too big here, as if they were superimposed on the image!

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san fran Dans 2001

Just a great couple shot, nice and tan.

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salem coven 2003

This was the trip of a lifetime. If you go to Salem on Halloween, it must be with a crowd. It’s a blast. Historical section, campy scary section, quaint New England small town section.

Bottom left and center: George Glass, my Closet Monsters cover model and close friend, and me in the center. Believe it or not, we walked out of our B&B rooms Halloween morning dressed in those complete opposite color schemes, totally unplanned, except he didn’t have a black shirt under his T, so he put one on. And the back of our baseball caps? Jack O’ Lantern faces, his in orange, mine in black. 

Bottom right: Kyle, another pal who is actually as obsessed with his family lineage as I am with my music. He keeps amazing records and does extensive research. It doesn’t get any cooler than this when you’re in Salem on Halloween: Kyle is a descendent of John Proctor, one of the accused in the real life witch trial that is played out in The Crucible.

Top left: Harry, my co-worker, and the art director who did an amazing job on the Closet Monsters cover and helping me design this website. Plus, we’ve conquered every single Frogger video game together—damn hard 3D remakes of the original that have pissed us off for months at a stretch!

Top center: Jackie, my partner in resident evil. Not only in our evil little treatment of those around us when we get together, but in playing the video games. We have conquered every horror video game series together, including the biggies Resident Evil, Silent Hill, and Fatal Frame. I control the character, she watches and yells at me when I don’t do what she says. Which makes me do the opposite of what she says just to piss her off…. Told you, we’re evil.

Top right: There’s no better time than Halloween for me to call him my BOO!

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Dan o'lantern 2003

My Salem 2003 costume. Again with the face paint, but there was a theme this time. I was a Dan O’ Lantern! I completely shaved my head, painted it orange, and crafted a jack o’ lantern face over my regular facial features. Looks kind of freaky, like some sort of demented clown.

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Model Behavior 2004

We sold Spongebob backpacks in the gay book club, and needed a model, fast. I agreed to let Spongebob mount me for a photo shoot. And what was my headline for this product? "LET'S GET SOAKIN' WET!" Now that's how you market Spongebob to a gay audience!

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The Man Clan 2007

October 2007, I did my first book signing at a small bookstore in the East Village in Manhattan. Here I am with Danny, Don Luis (my master in porn reviewing), and my hunky buddy Eric, an artist who draws some fine male physiques in his work.

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Our Puppies 2007

After 9 years renting, we finally bought a home of our own, and now we can finally have pets! We went all out and adopted these two 8-month old cuties. They are brother and sister. She is a little troublemaker who loves to flirt, he is quiet and calm until she gets him wound up. So we simply had to name them...Miss Fine and Sheffield.

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Miss Fine 2007

I just love goofy close-ups of cute puppies.

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Sheffield 2007

And, Sheffield gets the same goofy close-up treatment!

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©2007 Daniel W. Kelly