The DAN ZONE

I’m known around my parts for my absolute obsession with cherry cola, Excedrin and anything chocolate. And it has also become apparent over the past 6 years (although doctors and allergists were never able to pinpoint this) that many of my digestive problems are exacerbated severely by caffeine intake, an allergy I seem to have acquired due to my overdosing on the stuff daily since I was 18 and was first diagnosed with TMJ (aka: worn out cartilage in the jaw joint that makes one of my favorite activities hurt like hell…singing, of course.).

The fun thing about this allergy is that along with it comes addiction. Which is why I’m a caff-fiend. I can’t look at the beautiful white, green and red of an Excedrin bottle without my stomach growling hungrily and my eyes dilating in anticipation! Thing is, it’s mega-hard to accept that you could have such a bad reaction to something that you spent years of your life enjoying with no side effects (other than dents in the walls as you bounced off them). Over the past few years, I’ve managed to get off the ‘juice’ a couple of times for several month stretches, and it was wonderful. But then comes that one day when I slip—I just have to re-experience a cherry cola with pizza, or must try that ‘NEW! Limited Edition!” chocolate bar winking at me seductively on the grocery checkout line. I tell myself it will be just that once, just for that day…and then I tell myself the same thing the next day…and the next day. And before you know it, I’m back in this vicious cycle of feeding my unhappiness about my GI tract and my bloating belly with the very thing that is causing it.

The longest I walked away from caffeine was about 3 months, and that was like 3 summers ago. And in those 3 months, I lost 15 pounds and all the bloating! So I decided my New Year’s resolution would be to do it again, this time for a year, and see how I felt overall. So I started January 1^st. On January 2^nd, I woke up and said to my partner, “I’ve been off caffeine for a day! And now…someone must DIE!” But here it is 11 days later, I haven’t had a hint of caffeine, and no one is dead.

Unlike other attempts in which I did it all myself, this time I blatantly told people in my life that I need their help, literally insisting that if they see me go anywhere near chocolate or soda or Excedrin, they should rip it out of my hands. And amazingly, people have been SO good. If my partner is indulging in chocolate or soda, he’s doing it outside the house while at work. Although, I have been trying to get him to finish up this bag of mini-Reeses that has been floating around the house since the holidays so they won’t be there calling my name, but he hasn’t touched them (Is he trying to suffer along with me?). And yes, I’ve looked at the bag, and, um…sniffed the bag…several times when home alone, but so far, I’ve fought the temptation.

My video game friend who comes over for weekend marathons and what used to be gallons of Diet Wild Cherry Pepsi to keep us awake until all hours of the morning has said she would give up the juice for me for the video game weekends. Luckily for her, a worse enemy to my system than caffeine is any artificial sweetener, so I have no problem not touching that poison. And my friends at work, with whom I would go on chocolate runs around the office to raid other employees’ candy bowls, have stopped inviting me to these types of hunts and have not been dropping surprise pieces of chocolate on my desk as they used to simply to make me ‘happy’ because they knew I loved it.

So, that’s where this caff–fiend stands right now. Eleven days sober.