The DAN ZONE

Like most dogs, mine go berserk for everything food related, and also like most dogs, they INHALE their food! It’s even worse when you have two dogs, because each one eats whatever reaches their mouths extra fast so the other dog won’t snatch it away from them! As a result of all this inhaling, occasionally something gets ‘stuck’ halfway down. And that’s when it has to decide if it wants to keep going down or come back up.

Well, last night, it was Miss Fine’s chance to gag. After feeding my pups their dog food for dinner, I was sitting on my couch in front of my TV like any normal human being, and I was sharing pieces of my chicken dinner with them. Suddenly, Miss Fine, who usually stays right beside me with her chin resting on my leg, often leaving behind a tiny spot of doggy drool in the process, turned away from me and my food…and began making convulsing head and neck upchuck motions! Now here’s the problem. For some reason, my pups never quite got it in their heads that no matter what end it comes out, it should come out in the YARD, not in the house. So when it’s time to puke, no matter HOW much I try to coax them out of the house, they instead stand COMPLETELY still no matter where they are, just waiting to relieve themselves!

Last night was no exception. However, I was ready! I grabbed a handful of napkins from beside my dinner plate on the coffee table, and thrust them under her mouth. Phew! Close one. NOT! As soon as I did this, Miss Fine moved her mouth AWAY! I tried again. And she moved again! Now I’m chasing her around the living room with her walking all jerky-Japanese horror-like, ready to spew all Exorcist-like. I was determined to save myself from a rug scrubbing. And I finally did. The chunks flew…right into my napkin-clad hand. There I was, crouched on my living room rug with a handful of doggy dinner and one piece of chicken, none of which looked any different than it had when it went into her mouth! BLECH. I sure wasn’t in the mood for the rest of my chicken dinner in honey mustard. But Miss Fine was. She was ravenous, her belly (or more like, her throat) now empty. And so, she and Sheffield shared the remainder of my chicken dinner.

Thankfully, it all stayed down.