So aside from the fact that, just like all other foods, Twinkies have shrunk in size and they totally cheat you on the amount of cream inside, I’m still a huge fan. I was even more huge a fan of Chocodiles (aka: Chocolate covered Twinkies), which for some reason are unavailable in most states these days, yet still in production and available through mail-order over the internet. WTF? Just send the damn things to the grocery stores and all us fat pig Americans will scoff them up!
And yet, while Hostess won’t just make a goldmine like Chocodiles readily available, they put out these limited edition Chocolate-FILLED Twinkies. They also have strawberry filled, but. EW…frickin…EW! Screwdat. I only purchased the chocolate ones.
To clarify, these aren’t chocolate filled. It’s not like they melted down a Hersheys and squirted it in there (EW…Hershey squirts!). It’s actually chocolate CREAM. Are they good? Yeah. Am I concerned that they are ‘limited edition’? Nah. Because they aren’t impressive enough for me to even buy a second time, let alone stockpile in my basement so I’ll have them to savor for years to come once they are removed from the market (because you know Twinkies last forever—and because you know I’ve been known to stockpile limited edition treats in my basement…).
Most noticeable about chocolate cream Twinkies is how fresh they are. See, I bought a regular box of Twinkies along with the chocolate cream ones; not only because it was 2 for 5 dollars on sale, but because I wanted to be sure that if they really sucked, I could wash away the awful taste with a traditional Twinkie. Even though I didn’t hate the chocolate cream Twinkie, I still followed it up with an original just for the fun of it. And that’s when I noticed the chocolate cream version is definitely fresher, made more recently because it’s limited edition. Kinda like when you buy holiday themed versions of favorite candies or cookies (Snickers, Reeses, Oreos, etc.). Since they are being processed for a specific shelf-life window, they are much fresher than the all-year versions, which could easily sit on a shelf for months before they are actually sold out.
The chocolate cream Twinkies also contain more cream, naturally, because Hostess wants you to be blown away by the difference in taste. You’d barely be able to taste the difference if they cheated you on the chocolate cream. And actually, there really is a difference. I was skeptical, figuring they most likely just dyed that white stuff brown and called it chocolate cream. Not so. The Twinkies do taste chocolaty. In fact, they barely give you the Twinkie experience beyond the soft, moist texture. They taste more like a Yodel or a Ring Ding…minus the texture. If I want something that tastes like a Ring Ding, I’m going to eat a Ring Ding so I get that delicious chocolate shell cracking in my mouth with each bite. And if I want a Twinkie, I want it to be that soft delicious gold cake with white cream. I don’t want it to taste like a Yodel. And if I want the best of both worlds, I guess I have to fricking order a damn box of Chocodiles on the internet. It’s time for a Facebook petition to get them back in the stores!!! This way I can avoid the EIGHT DOLLARS A BOX price to get them over the internet….