Now this is the kind of heartwarming story that the Today Show should be covering every morning to brighten up my day. It’s the tale of prestigious Colorado evangelic preacher Ted Haggard, married with children, whose dirty secret was exposed a few years ago when one of his male escorts ratted him out in order to expose the hypocrisy (and make some cold hard cash with his story I’m sure, although, since his day job consists of meaningless sex, isn’t all the money he makes as an escort cold, hard cash?). Sure, the powerful preacher hooked up with an escort who supplied him with drugs, but I think under the circumstances, he should be considered a hero. He actually slept with a beefy and hunky man instead of releasing his agonizing oppression by screwing little boys like some other trusting ‘father’ figures we know. But, he preaches to a tough crowd, so they didn’t see the bright side of things. He crash landed from grace, was booted from his church, and apparently was even kicked out of Colorado. Tough state. Guess they didn’t get the memo about the church/state separation deal.
Anyway, now his loving wife, who has stuck by his side, has written her tell-all from her perspective with the sole purpose of helping her former flock who have gone through the same thing. She claims her husband has struggled for years with these ‘unwanted compulsions’, repeatedly promised that he would never act on them again, and now, thanks to therapy, is cured and 100% heterosexual! And with that great news in mind, I shall pray for this woman’s naïve and ignorant soul and pray that I can get married some day soon so I can hire that hot male escort to dance at my bachelor party! And as for the preacher? Well, I guess I’ll see this fallen ‘angel’ in hell…
