…and no, I’m not talking about the fact that when Easter lands too early in the season, we actually have snowfall. I’m talking about the fake grass you put in Easter baskets to cushion your eggs and chocolates. See, back in the 1970s, when I was playing with Star Wars figures and watching Schoolhouse Rock on Saturday mornings, my Easter basket was always filled with spring green straw grass. Then, as the 80s moved in, they began to replace that straw grass with what amounted to nothing more than green tinted Saran wrap that had been sent through a shredder. It was awful. But luckily, my mom held on to her original straw grass–the same grass I’ve been using for the past 30 years.
So, on a total whim, I’m in the cheapo discount store Big Lots (white trash central–guess that’s why I feel so at home there), and I walk down the Easter aisle, and there, before my very eyes, are bags and bags of Easter STRAW, at one dollar a bag!!! I dropped kicked a bag of green Saran wrap out of the way and grabbed every last bag of green straw they had (they also had it in blue and pink. Heinous).
Back home, I yanked out my decades old straw to replace it with the new. I had no idea just what bad shape mt old straw was in. Compared to the new fresh green straw, let’s just say the old stuff looked like my dogs had made a few pit stops on it. Of course, since my new straw was bought at a discount store, it’s not exactly the same quality as the classic stuff. The strands aren’t completely cohesive, causing messy runaway strands to flake all over my living room rug. On top of that, the straw isn’t as shredded as it could be. Each bag has a couple of really thick pieces that make it look like there are snakes slithering through my Easter baskets. I considered reaching into my basket to pull out those huge strands, but I was convinced it would gulp down one of my Easter eggs and I’d have to sit there and watch the entire egg being digested along the length of the snake’s body! What can I say? I’m still afraid of the Boogeyman under my bed–and the shark that I know is waiting underneath the floats in any pool I might consider swimming in….
