A Marriage Proposal against Prop8

Good news. The ratings for that show Jon & Kate Plus 8 have skyrocketed because they are in the midst of horrible divorce rumors—no one was interested when they were a supposedly happy couple raising eight children, but now that the family is falling apart and the welfare of these children is uncertain, it’s a hit with American viewers! And last night, a reality show called Hitched or Ditched premiered, the premise being that couples are given a week to decide if they’re going to have a free dream wedding or dump each other.

And on the same day, LGBT people in California were once again reassured that they shall not have the right to destroy the sacred institution of marriage. However, the 18,000 LGBT couples who said “I do” before Prop8 was passed are allowed to remain married. Why, I wonder? Won’t even as few as 18,000 married LGBT couples destroy society? Did these 18,000 couples have to pay for marriage licenses? If marriage was taken away from them, would that mean the state owed them a refund, considering they would have paid and gotten nothing in return? Could this be why they were offered immunity? The nearly bankrupt state of California can not afford to owe money to the gays! And we really don’t owe the state anything either.

Which is where my marriage proposal comes in. In California, as in any state that does not allow gay marriage, this is what LGBT people should do. It’s as simple as this. Do NOT get married. And by that, I mean, do not throw one of these huge shams called a “commitment ceremony.” To support loved ones, I myself have been invited to and attended a couple of these big gala events that are, in essence, weddings without the payoff. The only ones getting paid are the same companies that profit from legal heterosexual weddings—catering halls, photographers, bakers, flower shops, marriage registries…the list goes on and on. The point is, we are dumping millions of dollars into the economy for events that DO NOT COUNT. I know, it’s about more than that—it’s about professing true love in front of witnesses. The people closest to you—family and friends—already KNOW you’re committed to each other. The reality is, marriage is a necessity for legal protections we are denied that can absolutely devastate our lives. And until we are given that in return for throwing these costly bashes, we should NOT be giving a cent to ANY business.

The only ‘mockery’ we’ve made of marriage is through all of our mock weddings. It’s gotta be all or nothing. Otherwise, you’re just feeding the hand that bites you. Kind of like these gay men who think they’re getting one over on straights by having affairs with married men, because gay sex with ‘heterosexual’ men is hot (so I’m told). News flash. These men are not straight. What they are is dangerous to the gay community. These are men who are living the easy life. They go home and pretend to be happily married with kids, are fully accepted by society without any of the hardships gays endure, but STILL get to sneak into our community to get what they really need sexually, and sometimes emotionally. If we give it to them, we get nothing in return aside from an orgasm. These men are using us. They return back to the larger community in which they are fully accepted and ridicule us, discriminate against us, and join movements to deny us rights, just to prove they belong. Just think of all the Republican politicians in the last few years who have been caught doing just that. If you hook up with a ‘heterosexual’ man, you are most definitely sleeping with the enemy. You’re also possibly helping to destroy a marriage if the truth should ever come out.

Really, the only gays who will ever undermine heterosexual marriage are the gays who are so terrified to be gay that they are in heterosexual marriages (and the gays who sleep with them). Gays marrying other gays would actually help foster the institution of marriage. Not that I’m saying the LGBT community would become the role models for committed partnerships, even though we would definitely help bring it back into vogue (as we bring everything into fashion with our fabulousness). Because let’s be honest, the institution is not doing so well, and it has nothing to do with gays. Mainstream society has really lost sight of what marriage actually means. It’s not often appreciated, it’s mostly just expected. It’s taken for granted. It leads to ridiculous reality shows. Heck. Gays should be lauded for so desperately desiring conventional marriage when we aren’t being given many examples of it by heterosexuals!

I personally don’t believe that society as a whole believes that gay marriage will somehow lessen the worth of marriage. As gays are permitted to get married, are heterosexuals going to throw their arms up in the air and say, “Well, since they can get married now, what’s the point?” It seems to be more of a power trip and a mindset of ‘it’s something we have that we don’t want you to have’ than it is about fears of gay marriage destroying the institution. Thanks to the Internet, you can easily read and hear the opinions of so many members of society from all over the country, and most of them, other than high profile, extremist religious leaders, are not saying that gay marriage will lead to people marrying farm animals. The feedback is less about religious beliefs and definitely more about, “I don’t want you to have what I have.” Because let’s face it. We live in a world where everyone wants to be better than their neighbor. Until now, the large portion of the heterosexual community has been able to believe they are better than gays just because they are straight and can do things gays are not allowed to do. Having more rights than someone else is equated with being better than someone else, cultivated as far back as when we were children, when ‘Tommy’ was a good boy so he got ice cream for dessert, while little ‘Johnny’ was bad and got none. Gays being allowed to marry would give straights much more competition, first leveling the playing field to making us closer to equal, then upping the challenge to who has the better car, bigger house, better relationship. We will no longer be the perverted predators in the dark city alleys, but instead, the highbrow couple living next door.

Got news for you. We already are. You know what gays are doing now and have been doing for years? We are entering long term relationships, buying houses as committed couples, going to work, raising children—all this in some of the nicest houses on the block! You know what’s going to change for heterosexuals of they let us get married?

Nothing.