Has the U.S. made even more progress than we thought???

It doesn’t get any better than this. I’m standing on line at the grocery store, and there, on the front page of The Globe, the headline screams that President Obama is gay and Michelle is covering up his secret affair with another man! Black AND gay??? Wouldn’t that just be SO awesome??? Especially since he’s physically fit and good looking, not some slovenly overweight white president….