Camp Slaughter: this is how you capture the spirit of 80s slashers

Posted on June 17, 2013 by Daniel
camp-slaughter

I really cannot BELIEVE that I’ve seen this 2005 movie TRASHED by those who claim it completely fails in doing justice to the 80s slasher tradition. These people either didn’t grow up on 80s slashers, or don’t remember the 80s. The entire look and feel of Camp Slaughter is like a cross between the original Friday the 13th and Sleepaway Camp.

Director Alex Pucci makes films for the man-centric Scream Kings production company and is responsible for Frat House Massacre, which I just blogged about the other day. I’m quickly becoming a fan of his work. Pucci sure knows how to imitate classic horror in a modern context. From the musical score to the fashions, the goofy dialogue to the kills, the grain of the film to the killer POV, this is dead-on Mrs. Vorhees territory. Even the campground and cabins look like a genuine Friday the 13th shooting location. Wow.

Pucci is not afraid to celebrate the male body, and in this film, the tight 80s shorts remind me of WHY the 80s were such a great time to be a young gay boy. DAMN. And he casts some guys with some fine asses and legs. Interestingly, one of the main characters is blatantly gay, but for some reason, Pucci lets it just float out there instead of making it a concrete fact. One of the character’s friends mentions him checking out guys as an aside, but his other friends seem oblivious to the fact—or just don’t care because it doesn’t matter, which I guess is probably true with much of modern youth. And that becomes an interesting contrast in the plot of Camp Slaughter.

See, in Camp Slaughter, four friends—the gay dude, his cute buddy, a white chick, and a black chick—are on a road trip when they suddenly find themselves in 1981. Literally. Their vehicle pretty much breaks down in the middle of the movie Sleepaway Camp. AMAZING. While the interactions between the modern group and the kids from 1981 is clever, I don’t think it’s attempting to be as funny as some who blast the movie claim it fails in being. The 80s references (including nicely done faux 80s filler music that sounds like all the generic movie music used in 80s films that couldn’t afford to pay for a Kajagoogoo or Naked Eyes song) offer an occasional chuckle, but more importantly, they establish that things just aren’t right. Short of the short shorts on the men, my favorite 80s spotting is the mini-Pac Man arcade machine someone is using (I had one of those in junior high!).

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Since the formula of the film is straight-up Friday the 13th, it gets to be a little much when the black chick constantly points out that this is some Jason shit going on. But at the same time, she’s awesome in her conviction about it, and there are times when her reactions are quite funny and realistic. Any of us who grew up on this crap would be saying the same exact shit.

The four characters getting stuck in a 1981 slasher situation is just the beginning of this unique approach to making a retro slasher. Camp Slaughter is actually reminiscent of the 2003 film The Locals that I blogged about ages ago, but I can say now, I like Camp Slaughter better. Actually, I frickin’ love Camp Slaughter.

The plot gets deviously whacky in the last half-hour, but it manages to make sense—although some of the editing makes it hard to follow the movements of the characters. What’s great about the ending is that we are bombarded by one unexpected turn after another. There’s nothing in the way of predictability here. I personally think this was a brilliant way to do justice to old skool slashers in the modern day. I know new audiences might not like the dated techniques used, but they are EXACTLY what I lived on in the 80s. I feel right at home at Camp Slaughter.

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The Backlot Murders vs. Slash: rock those slashers!

Posted on June 17, 2013 by Daniel

Oddly enough, in the early part of the new millennium, during the onslaught of post­-Scream slashers and the death of the “rock band” in pop culture, there were a bunch of cheesy horror movies centered around rock bands! While the goal was usually to give these bands an “emo” image, it was convenient that they looked more like bad mockeries of 80s bands, because it went along with the throwback feel of the slasher movies themselves. Which is all the reason to pit the 2002 films The Backlot Murders and Slash against each other!

The Backlot Murders (2002)

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Just think. If they made a gay porn spoof of this film, they wouldn’t even have to change the title. But seriously, you watch The Backlot Murders for the fricking awesomeness that is Priscilla Barnes. She MAKES this movie, funnier than she ever was on Three’s Company. And with veteran actor Charles Fleischer, who plays a gay video director, as her foil, they are unstoppable.

As far as slashers go, The Backlot Murders does a pretty good job of just getting by as an attempted clone of better slashers (are you following me?), much like most of the post-Halloween slashers 20-years before. It feels like a direct-to-VHS slasher from around 1982, my favorite kind. There’s a killer in an Elvis mask, plenty of sharp weapons, some backlighting and a smoke machine, chicks with huge boobs, a couple of cute guys, and a pretty pointless plot (about a band shooting a video) that serves merely to serve up victims.

You can definitely show The Backlot Murders at a party for kicks. It would be more fun that way. Especially since you get a small appearance by big black Kincaid from Elm Street 3 (he should have been in it more), and even Corey Haim! What’s kind of entertaining about the movie is that there are murders of “characters” you NEVER see until they’re getting killed. Before you can say “Who the fuck is that,” they’re dead.

Your ultimate goal in watching The Backlot Murders is to get to the final chase scene. The killer is the best I’ve seen since Urban Legend, and the final bouncing babe is perfect.

SLASH (2002)

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It was only a matter of time before a slasher was named after Cousin Itt, and it makes sense that it be a slasher about a rock band.

Slash opens with the traditional flashback setup; some kid sees a dude draining blood from bodies in a barn. Then there’s a fire and we cut to the present.

This HOT dude Mac with a fricking killer bod (which explains why he’s shirtless through most of the movie) is in a band. Their tour is interrupted when Mac finds out his aunt has died and he has to go to the farm to attend the funeral. The whole tour bus goes along.

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Slash runs a little too long (but you get to look at the above all the much more). We spend too much time watching the members of the rock band rehearsing in the barn, sleeping, smoking pot, talking about their relationships, reading Tarot cards (and OF COURSE getting “The Devil” card), and joking with each other. The main plot is about Mac and his family’s bizarre past at the farm. And then there’s the killer running around in a mask and long coat with a sickle in hand.

The kills are pretty good in this one, eerily executed at times and reminiscent of 80s slasher gore. Even more bizarre than the hick farmhand is the hot black dude in the band (who’s shirtless a lot as well. Yummy). He gets into numerous fights with the farmhand and then all of a sudden gets all pissed off at everything and begins running around the farm waving a gun he just happens to carry with him. Really???

The underground tunnels, the chase scenes, the twist about the killer, the setup for a sequel—it’s all pretty typical. And then we get literally 15 minutes of the band performing a show at the end of the movie.

This is like the MTV Video Fights on a Friday night in the summer of 83—when “Photograph” by Def Leppard reigned supreme. Decision time! As hot as the bods are in Slash, I find The Backlot Murders to be the better of the bad band movies.

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Things are getting scary at The Gay Bed and Breakfast of Terror

Posted on June 15, 2013 by Daniel

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Gay horror films are few and far between and they always seem to get a bad rap. Despite seeing The Gay Bed and Breakfast of Terror trashed online, turns out it’s one of my favorite gay slashers (of about 2 in total), with a tinge of backwoods horror thrown in to make it even better.

The title, the campy DVD cover, and the 60s chick singing “beware of the straights” in the opening credits don’t really do the movie justice. The Gay Bed and Breakfast of Terror is far from campy…until closer to the end, at which point it crosses the line. It’s heavy on horror and not on humor, although there’s enough thrown in to meet current standards.

Speaking of quotas, there are plenty of cute and hot guys, along with bodies and butts, but it’s not excessive enough to detract from the horror aspects of the film. This b&b is open to all gays, so there are also an equal number of lesbians (and lesboobs) on hand. A creepy mother/daughter team runs the place and they claim to be friends to the gays….

While many of the characters are likeable, what’s noticeable is that none of the couples have good relationships. Which is a surprising dynamic in an all-gay horror film. But as we get to know these characters through their behaviors and conversations, the film plays out very much like every slasher you’ve ever seen. It really nails the tone, atmosphere, and build-up. I’ve seen “critics” whine about the gay stereotypes in the film. Um…I know at least one of each of these characters in real life. And why should gay slashers get a pass on stereotypes, when they pervade “straight” slashers (the jock, the slut, the nerd, the virgin, etc.)?

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Once the killing starts, you’re seriously like WTF??? This is not just a simple slasher. There’s something freaky going on here. There are gruesome deaths, creepy camera angles, effective jump scares, and a not so pleasant something skulking in the shadows. As the body count rises, the campy humor begins to sneak its way in, and it almost seems out of place—even if it is entertaining. It does become a bit much because it’s mostly during long segments of flashback exposition. It sort of causes the horror action to drag a little.

But then things get back on track and The Gay Bed and Breakfast of Terror gets wild, with a blood bath and a twist ending that’s pretty messed up. Just a warning. If you’re a gay Republican, well, first of all, in case you’re not aware, the Republican party generally votes on the side of HATING us (but the good news is, they’ll still take your money!). But as it pertains to this film, there is some strong anti-conservative mockery, so you might be insulted that all your self-righteous, holier-than-thou (by thou I mean you) party mates are being so senselessly trashed.

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Chillerama: the horror anthology tradition goes gay

Posted on June 15, 2013 by Daniel

chillerama

Chillerama has totally not gotten the cult following it deserves. Not in the horror subculture OR the gay subculture. Because the truth is, this film is pretty damn gay! It’s got a killer sperm. It’s got gay bear werewolves. It’s got man-eating zombies. Oh…and it has musical numbers!!! This is absurd sex and violence exploitation at its best.

The wraparound story of Chillerama involves a dude getting bit in his bits by a zombie and then bringing the virus to a drive-in theater that’s showing a midnight movie marathon….

First up cums “Wadzilla.” This sperm-filled treat is right up gay guys’ alley. It’s out of control sperm camp with a retro 50s sci-fi feel. A dude having sperm count problems is given a special pill that instead turns his one lone sperm into a giant monster! This is creature feature greatness for gay audiences, and the messy finish will have you cringing and giggling. This segment also features appearances by Eric Roberts, Ray Wise, and Lin Shaye.

Next up is the unforgettable gay horror musical “I Was a Teenage Werebear.” Set in 1962, it’s like An American Werewolf in London meets Grease. It’s directed by gay horror director Tim Sullivan—which is why it’s so perfectly gay. Tim holds nothing back, from the werebear singing and dancing in his jockstrap to hairy werebears in leather mounting young hotties. This is seriously a gay classic. Lin Shaye and director Tim Sullivan both make appearances.

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The segment “Diary of Anne Frankenstein” seems out of place in Chillerama. There’s no gay humor, but it’s loaded with un-PC Jewish, Holocaust, Hitler, and Anne Frank humor. It’s also spoken in German with English subtitles that don’t always translate accurately for the sake of humor. This segment gets a little grating and shrill.

A very short interlude called “Deathication” goes totally for the gross out and is loaded with shit humor that leaves nothing to the imagination.

Finally we get back to the greatness with the wrap-around story. The zombie infection at the drive-in has spread, turning the zombies into insatiable horn dogs! This repulsive (in a good way) segment has comic zombie-human sex of all persuasions and plenty of wiener and boobs. It is an amazing sex and blood conclusion to this piece of gay cinema trash.

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My worst redneck nightmares x2000 (+1 and a sequel)…

Posted on June 14, 2013 by Daniel

2000 Maniacs (1964)

 2000-maniacs

In 1964, Two Thousand Maniacs seriously set the precedent for all backwoods/redneck/hillbilly horror films to come. The images on the VHS cover in the 80s were so bloody red that young teenagers like myself got queasy anticipating what we were about to see when we popped that tape into the VCR.

When a small bunch of northerners are detoured into Pleasant Valley, they immediately find themselves the guests of honor at a bicentennial celebration attended by a bunch of vacant-eyed, Confederate flag-waving hicks. I have to wonder how scary that would be to American’s back in 1964, especially when everyone in the film is white and straight. They all look boringly alike, no matter which side of the Mason-Dixon Line they stand on.

But there’s something interesting about the original Two Thousand Maniacs; it’s hard to tell who the good guys are. Is it the crazy backwards rednecks, or are the northerners deserving of what they get? After all, the way the maniacs get these northerners to split up to kill them off one-by-one is by waving promises of adultery in front of their faces. The northerners are portrayed as immoral ho-bags!

Still, the robotic townsfolk are really eerie when they overpower each victim. And the kills are deliciously sadistic, including a simple axe hack job, dismemberment by horse, a rock squashing, and a nail-riddled barrel role. Pretty twisted shit for the time the film was released.

Deliciously gory, the original also has references to the Halloween holiday and a little hick kid with some really funny dialogue.

 

2001 Maniacs (2005)

 2001-maniacs

Personally, I think 2001 Maniacs is a remake done right. Perfectly updated for modern audiences, it’s whacky, humorous, gruesome, sick, and filled with sex and pretty faces. It also realistically presents modern day characters that are a logical contrast to the stereotypical bigoted southerners. There are promiscuous kids, a black dude, a bi dude, and an Asian chick (who doesn’t look at ALL Asian). Everything a good ‘ol hillbilly would want to eat for dinner.

Plus, you have an Elm Street reunion, with Robert Englund playing the patriarchal mayor and Lin Shaye playing the matriarchal “Granny.” As usual, Lin steals the show, even singing a square dancing diddy. She goes from comically crazy to frighteningly psychotic in a flash. Love her. There’s also a cameo by Eli Roth, playing the same character he did in Cabin Fever. And if you watch the deleted scenes, John Landis has a cameo in one of them.

The man flesh is great in this film, from the hunky black dude running around in something you’d see at a leather party, to the pretty boy who shows off a phenomenal little butt and a patch of pubes. There’s a gay hook-up…and then a horrendously awesome gay death. Other slaughters honor the original film, but a whole new batch of gore is also featured. There’s even sheep fucking by a kid named Hucklebilly.

The very end seems to follow that of the original, but then we get a gorehound’s twist. Which could only mean one thing. A sequel!

 

2001 Maniacs: Field of Screams (2010)

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It took 5 years, but it was worth it. 2001 Maniacs: Field of Screams doesn’t try to be anything more than an exploitative piece of trash loaded with sex and gore. And I love it. A sexy bunch in an RV are filming a reality show called “Road Rascals” with a Paris Hilton/Nicole Richie pair of bimbos.

The film opens in graphic novel format, and the mayor—now recast with Bill Moseley—is narrating the back story of the town. But don’t worry. There’s no real plot here to distract us. Just over-the-top horror camp. This sequel also pays homage to one of the death scenes from the original that was left out of 2001 Maniacs. Lin Shaye is back with a vengeance as Granny, as is the kid who plays Hucklebilly—and this time he’s fucking a stuffed sheep.

This one has it all: lesbians, boobs, a gay boy, amazing man bodies and butts, gruesome deaths—including TWO va-jay-jay horror shows, Lin Shaye performing a cannibal song in a Flashdance homage (I really want this song in my Halloween playlist), Hucklebilly feasting on dick and balls, and…well, there’s really nothing left to say to better prove the worth of 2001 Maniacs: Field of Screams. Just make sure to watch the credits through for a bonus scene.

Now where’s the next film in the franchise so gay director Tim Sullivan can bring us more of this?

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Gay Zombie is like fast food for the horror lover to devour…

Posted on June 13, 2013 by Daniel
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There’s really only one thing wrong with Gay Zombie…it leaves you hungry for more. Running only 20 minutes, this gay horror short is funny, light-hearted, gross, campy, romantic, tragic, sexy, and even throws in a fashion show montage! It’s rare that I like horror films that follow the story of a zombie instead of making the undead the monsters, but there are a few horror comedy exceptions, and this is one of them.

The simple story of a zombie who is struggling with the fact that he’s gay, Gay Zombie is perfectly cast with cuties who can act and manage to portray likeable characters in such a short time. And the actor playing the zombie makes even the undead look good in a yellow speedo! The reactions when Gay Zombie hits the bar scene are fricking perfect. The makeup is awesome and the film even takes a dark—and gory—turn.

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On top of all that, the punk rock theme song “Gay Zombie” totally rules!!! I wish I could get it on CD.

If you want more of Gay Zombie, it was adapted into a 100 page erotic ebook called Gay Zombie Erotix by Richard Wax. Expanding on the back story of how he became a gay zombie, it also takes you on Gay Zombie’s sexual journey. EEK! Now why didn’t they make THAT into a full-length sexy-sick gay horror film?

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Green, blue, gray, and all other zombies of the rainbow…beware the PINK zombies!

Posted on June 13, 2013 by Daniel
creatures-from-the-pink-lagoon

Looking to convert your horror-hating gay buddies into gay horror whores? Creatures from the Pink Lagoon might be just what you need to stop them from squealing girlishly and hiding their eyes at your Halloween parties and getting them to laugh along with the rest of us at a good horror comedy.

Creatures from the Pink Lagoon has it all: camp, cuties, gay humor, horror humor, zombies, man eating, gut-munching, and a throwback to cheesy 1960s horror films. The scares begin in a cemetery, complete with perfect eerie sci-fi/horror movie music from back in the day. We get plenty of gay zombie POV—the black and white film even goes pink when the creatures attack!

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Then there’s our crew of party boys. They’re way more fun than your typical teen slasher gang. There’s a delicious piece of beefcake. I’d go zombie on his ass any day.

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His boyfriend has a nice big black booty that could feed an army of zombies. There’s a snarky bitch who nails classic Paul Lynde shtick, a cutie who looks like Tommy Jarvis in Friday the 13th: A New Beginning, a Matthew Broderick geek, and an amazing scream queen who reminds me of Carson Kressley.

Just as their party is getting underway, the creatures attack! These gay boys clearly watch their horror, because they know immediately they’re dealing with zombies! The humor is amped up even more, but now Creatures from the Pink Lagoon satisfies true horror whores with injections of grizzly black and white gore, including raunchy gay horror humor. Turns out gay zombies are a whole different breed and there are very unique ways to deal with them….

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This is my kind of gay horror comedy. These guys better make more homo horror films.

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Frat House Massacre: WTF did I just watch?

Posted on June 12, 2013 by Daniel

frat-house-massacre

Everything about Frat House Massacre, from the title to the shirtless pretty boy on the front cover, tells you you’re in for a movie that’s more homo than horror. And a lot of comments from horror fans on the internet trash it as such (even comparing it to David DeCoteau films). After watching it, I’m guessing either these guys did not watch it all the way through or straight guys are SO completely emasculated by the sight of hot naked guys that they can’t get past it to see how brutally twisted Frat House Massacre is. It makes the Sorority House Massacre movies look like childish fluff.

This movie is HARDCORE, plays by absolutely no rules, and keeps assaulting you with new weirdness. The first segment of the film is definitely loaded with mostly naked frat boys performing some seriously sadistic and gory hazing. But even then there are women present…and there are TWO scenes of muff-diving in the course of the film, as well as more than enough heterosexual sex scenes that are way more graphic than your usual R rated stuff. There are also no POSITIVE presentations of homoeroticism in this film and gay slurs are properly in place to counter the naturally “gay” behavior of hetero frat boy culture.

Frat House Massacre takes place at the end of the 70s and you’ll believe it was actually filmed then. The gritty look and feel—as well as cars, sets, music, and wardrobe—scream 1970s. You get moments of grindhouse, Argento, Fulci, 80s slashers, even Scream. It’s all whacked, disturbing, and oddly entertaining. Granted, the film in its uncut form runs nearly 2 hours and drags in spots, but if you stick with it, you’ll be surpised by what you’re seeing in a modern film. Frat House Massacre is loaded with old skool exploitation, violence, nudity, explicit suggestions of sex, drugs, and gore.

On top of that, the tone of the film fluctuates, taking your mind on even more of a trip. Hell, there’s even some humor (including toilet humor) towards the end and a disco dance scene that will make you forget Jamie Lee Curtis’s scene from Prom Night even exists. Hairy man lovers are even thrown a bone with the presence of a nice furry butt. Kills are sick and brutal (you just have to overlook a knife blade bending at one point), there are human dartboards, guys go bi for drugs, girls get pissed on—and then an amazing slaughter sequence takes place at the dance. This movie is fucking INSANE and this final part totally won me over as a horror fan even if the rest of the film was too out there and disturbing for my tastes.

And if you really want more focus on homoeroticism, watch the deleted scenes on the DVD. Several of them have no sound, but they are much more explicitly gay nude scenes. Wow.

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Hostel comes home to die…

Posted on June 10, 2013 by Daniel

hostel-3

Hey. Hostel Part III is a direct-to-DVD third film in the series without Eli Roth’s involvement. So you can’t expect much. And if you get it for 5 bux, it’s totally worth completing your trilogy.

This time, it’s not even safe to travel in the U.S. A bunch of dudes head to Las Vegas for a bachelor party full of booze and boobs….

I kind of think the opening scene is the most satisfying in Hostel history. Can’t say anything or I’ll give it away. But the good news is, there’s a sexy bald dude with his shirt open.

More good news. When we meet our main group of guys, the “bachelor” is cute as hell—not shirtless, but I found that wet and wild pic online so I thought I’d share.

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For the straight guys, there is plenty of female T&A as well (that I won’t share). After all, these boys are partying, so there will be strippers.

Hostel Part III hits you with numerous false horror setups…that tricked me every time. Nice job. The new catch with this installment is that private audiences are betting on the torture scenarios. The first kill really made me uncomfortable, especially because of the way the dude screams. The second kill is a gross out for the squeamish, but it’s over really fast and falls flat. The third kill, involving a chick in a tight leather suit and a mask, is also fairly torturous—and not only because there’s a chick in a tight leather suit.

Just when you’re not sure where things are going, Hostel Part III shows its true colors; it’s a love story! You have to see it to believe the motive behind these men being led to the slaughter. There’s a big fight in front of an audience, there’s a bomb, there’s an explosion, and there’s a “twist ending.”

What more can I say? It’s run-of-the-mill, but I think it does an okay job of grossing us out a little and delivering some satisfying gore. But I also think it would be really smart to end the franchise here….

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Fright Flick just gets better with time….

Posted on June 8, 2013 by Daniel

fright-flick

From Israel Luna, the man who brought us Ticked-Off Trannies with Knives and the non-horror film R U Invited? (about an all-male sex party), comes 2011’s Fright Flick—a movie heavier on boobs than balls—and really heavy boobs at that. While there are gay characters, this one is a straight guy’s wet dream.

Straight up slasher and purely retro in feel, Fright Flick even gives us the animated comic book panels to segue between scenes a la Creepshow. The opening shower scene has this chick playing with her huge bazongas, rubbing them, and squishing them together. All me and my hubby felt were cases of the giggles. Until her goofy cute boyfriend showed up and got slightly naked.

While many horror movies fail by starting off really good and then going to hell at the end, Fright Flick actually gets better the longer you watch, with tons of payoff. It’s a story of backstabbing on the set of a horror movie trilogy. And it has some of the fricking hottest, grittier old skool style kills in recent slashers.

The kills string together a complexity of dialogue between numerous characters throwing a load of clues and red herrings our way. This kind of slow burning, despite throwing in some campy dialogue and situations (including the presence of a queeny punk), challenged my ADHD, so the sexy kills had to tame it.

But then comes the climactic sequences, from the killer reveal to the chase scene, and it is fricking glorious. This is what we’ve been waiting for, and the pursuit of the final characters by the killer is amazingly choreographed, blocked, and timed. I have to watch it again to look for edits, but I seriously think it may have all been done in one take. There are also Halloween II and Friday the 13th homages that slasher fans will appreciate.

After all is said and done, we get a prologue that is such a perfect 80s slasher WTF moment, in place just to exploit the horror (and maybe offer the promise of a sequel?). LOVE IT.

Only other things to note: out actor Chad Allen has a small and convincing role as a straight dude, some of which was left on the cutting room floor (and in the DVD extras), as was a gore-tastic extended cut of one of the deaths. And my final word; the male lead is so fricking adorable. I only wish the shirtless action hadn’t been obscured by props.

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